Monday, December 31, 2012

It's a bad kitty

When kitty is bad and has bitten the Godfather he must wear the dick tie.

Broncos Playoff Bound





We're on our way to the Super Bowl.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Quote, Unquote


“a chode is a bunch of people that sit around and argue over the definition of the word chode”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chode look at definition #3

Mayan Apocalypse (@kabooooooooom) has just chimed in with its first tweet:
"Sorry everyone, running a bit late."






“She ran over a curb, took out a yard sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her visions “a bit”. Never letting grandma drive again.”







Newt Gingrich on the election outcome
"The momentum is clearly now in the direction in finding some way to accommodate and deal with reality,"

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Keeping the Chil'ren Safe....

With the rash of violence and death that has happened at our schools in the past decade I think we need to seriously consider armed personnel in our schools.  No, I'm not talking about armed school teachers or administrative personnel, we need professionals. They don't have to be carrying M-16's out in the open like it was a war zone, but it would be good to have those types of weapons available on campus in a locked vault if needed, instead they should be armed with a 9MM or something similar that can be holster under a sport coat because usually it is a lone gunman and all it takes is one well placed shot to kill that person. That well placed shot though needs to come from a seasoned professional who has performed that act before. My idea then is to take our returning veterans from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars and train them to be those people. A lot of these returning veterans are finding it difficult to find jobs and reintegrate into society. This seems to me to be a great way to reintegrate them back into society and still have them be part of a service branch whose mission is defending the next generation. I would hope that their example might show the next generation that military service is another possible career choice. I would like to see at least two in each school constantly patrolling during the school day. Larger schools could have many more to handle the load. The team aspect would mirror what they had in their military service to help them with the transition. I understand that some of our returning military have PTSD and I think there should be selection criteria to get those people the help they need before they would be trained for this type of service.








How about turning returning GI's into school zone Secret Service. 







Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas








It's a white Christmas in Denver. A little Cruzan Rum and a Guillermo Leon Cigar. I got what I wanted for Christmas, I hope you did too.

The ashtray is from Israel thanks to the Godfather's brother and the shot glass sign says
"Do Not Feed the Bears" with a bear wearing deer antlers and a sign that says "I am not a Bear" bought in Yellowstone.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Driver Psychology

One of my pet peeves are highway drivers who will not do the speed limit when it's 75 MPH but will do 10 over the speed limit in a 55 MPH zone. If you are willing to do 10 MPH over in a 55 MPH zone then you should be willing to do 10 MPH over in a 75 MPH zone. The ticket is the same 10 MPH over the limit but you show your ignorance of this simple fact by doing one but not the other.

Myself I like to do about 4 MPH over the speed limit in all my highway driving. From the few tickets I have gotten when I didn't follow the above I have noticed there is no box for 1-4 MPH over the speed limit. No box, No ticket.
















Sign for NO SPEED LIMIT on the Autobahn.

Christmas Card Ski Tree

The holiday card tradition continues, but I had to wait for Mayan Apocalypse to pass before I set it up this year. Where is your card?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Party like there's no Tom-Maya....



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY
It's the end of the Mayan Calendar and we're all going to diiiiiiieeeeeeeeee......
......just kidding, but I do like this song.......and I do feel fine.

Tonight

Gonna open a nice bottle of Wisconsin Blackberry Merlot smoke a fine Rocky Patel cigar and watch Apocalypto in honor of the end of the world.

Mayan Christmas Gift Idea

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Westboro Baptist Church @ Aggies Game

















When you mix Westboro Baptists and Aggie's fans you get this. For other pics of 2012 go here:
http://www.buzzfeed.com/angelameiquan/the-40-best-protest-signs-of-2012-70fn

Monday, December 17, 2012

Quote, Unquote







“It's brilliant stuff – the ecstasy of pure bullshit.”













“If the poor won't even take the trouble to hire lobbyists, then they have only themselves to blame that the tax code favors the rich.”







“We’re stomping the ants while the elephants run wild”









Speaking of the violent mentally ill people like the killer in the school shootings in Connecticut

“Defective merchandise should be turned off, placed in a box and sent back to the manufacturer.”



Thursday, December 13, 2012

Looks like our money problems are done gentlemen..

Got an email today from X.X.X. Review and it said:

"How would you like to get paid to watch p.o.r.n?
its Easy
1. Sign up
2. Pick a DVD
3. Tell us what you think
4. we Pay you.
Yes REALLY its that EASY"

(A link was attached but who knows where that link has been)

Like I said, our money problems are behind us now. It's just that EASY.

 

Friday, December 7, 2012

The Auditors are coming....



Definition of an Auditor - One who arrives after the battle is lost and bayonets the wounded.

We are trying to get our stories straight on what to tell the auditors when they arrive and start asking questions we don't want to answer and this video came to mind.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VHKpGJX29s
For the timid employees who are not sure about lying to the auditors it works great as a pep talk:
"How about getting with the program, why don't you jump on the team and come on in for the big win"

and I tell my people
"It's not a lie if you believe it"
Was well received by all the republicans in the room as they are conditioned to Fox News.
Auditors are not your friend.

Of course the second part is my favorite
"All I've ever asked of my minions is for them to obey my orders as if they were the word of God"
Happy Pearl Harbor Day, nation.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Friday, November 16, 2012

Cruel Cruel World....









Wait....you're telling me marijuana's now legal but Twinkies are not going to made any more.....NOOOOOOOO !!!!!!

Thursday, October 4, 2012

" ", Un " "





“I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass.”





“Pretty sure voting doesn't require parental guidance. Well, maybe in your case it should.”


“If you're looking to make a buck or two, and can leave your scruples at the door, there's plenty of opportunity out there. So stop worrying about what's honest and start thinking about what sells!”



and after the Debate......

"This is why Big Bird must go. He teaches children to share.”

"Big Bird was just admitted to the Hospital due to stress”

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Yee Haw Ride'm Cowgirl...

The Idiot of the Week is.......

Gloria Garcia Gutierrez

She decided to ride a manatee at Ft. De Soto Park near St. Petersburg FL. Why you would ever even get close to an animal that size is beyond me. I know they are harmless, but any aquatic animal of that size can accidentally drown you. All it takes is your clothing getting caught on part of its body and if it goes under you can't hold your breath as long as it can.

I use to go to Ft. De Soto park with the my family when I was younger. Nice place except for the little pine cones that bite your bare feet as you walk over them.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

TSA Agent Found With ABC IPad



I think the TSA agents and all airport workers need to be patted down and sent through the metal detector before they are allowed to leave the airport. Blame it on the wife, are you kidding me man.

Friday, September 28, 2012

Consigliere and Little Brother's Day

Happy Drink Beer Day. I can no longer join you due to the fizz but I'll have a fine glass of "Prison Toilet Merlot" to toast you. This week's Broncos game is against Oakland so we will be having prison food in honor of all the convicts on the Oakland Raiders team and in the Oakland Raider fan community so our menu will include baloney sandwiches and prison toilet made Merlot for our hooch.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

That about sum's it up for me.......

From Groundhog Day……

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHJZvRgZiO8

Bill Murray at Bowling Alley Bar

“What would you do if you were stuck in one place where every day was exactly the same and nothing that you did mattered”

Drunk next to him

“That about sums it up for me”

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

He was especially hard on the little things.....

I was made aware today that some of my co-workers view me like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaSnwgJ_xQM

Love the bunny.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Even the Aussies can see our problems...

The Deputy Prime Minister of Australia stated that "the cranks and crazies in the GOP are the greatest threat to the biggest economy in the world." The Prime Minister agreed with the Deputy PM calling the remark appropriate.

Nation...... we are the laughing stock of the world because of these nut jobs that have commandeered the GOP. Please do your part an vote these idiots out of office. I'm doing my part. I supported Mike Coffman in the past due to his service in Iraq and Afghanistan but I can no longer support his policies and will be voting for Joe Miklosi this year. 

Call It Maybe - Replacement Ref Song Parody

Replacement Ref Hand Signals

Monday, September 24, 2012

View from the window....

The consigliere often comes home to find Tigger in the window with a single claw exposed and making a cut motion across the neck.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

" ", un " ".





“I thought for a second there might be hope for you humans. After all, you do have the intellectual capacity to develop nuclear weapons. Then I realized, you have them pointed at each other.”







“Found a grenade pin. Still no sign of Dave.”









“Guy just came back from a funeral and I asked him if the funeral was hopping or was it dead. Some people don’t have a sense of humor I guess.”







“I’ve upped my standards, up yours.”

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Racism is alive and well....

......and if you can't see that in the following pictures then you are probably are a racist yourself. These can only be in direct response to Clint Eastwood's speech at the RNC. Can you give me another reason to string up a chair from a tree? No, I didn't think so.














Friday, September 21, 2012

Noooooooooo........

The McRib is being delayed until December, curse you McDonalds. I wonder if my new stomach can handle the porky goodness. I guess we'll have to wait a little longer to find out.

Spent 10 minutes......

......this morning looking for my shoe. I looked everywhere including the enclosed litter box and I could not find it. I've got a small room and there are plastic boxes scattered about the room and there are numerous places that the cat has left his mice and toys so I figured I would find it in short order, but no luck. I even questioned whether I had both shoes on when I made my way into the bedroom last night. Finally I looked in the place that is least accessible and farthest from where my shoe was last night and there it was.

The little bastard had dragged the shoe about 5 feet down the side of my king size waterbed then around the corner and then another 5 feet under the waterbed headboard including dragging it over his foam bed which is in the space under the headboard and into the far corner of the room that is almost inaccessible due to the room being small and the waterbed being king size. I really don't know how he did that. The shoe is as big as he is.

He knows that when the shoes go on I'm on my way out and I guess he didn't want me to leave. Now I have to store my shoes in the closet.

Have I told you that my cat is an asshole?




Thursday, September 20, 2012

Engage......damn this remote......Engage.....

Captain Jean-Luc Picard aka Patrick Stewart has the same problems we all do with the cable company. Loved the last line of the article "Man, this stuff never happens to Shatner" CLASSIC! 

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Friday, September 7, 2012

The Beautiful People...The Beautiful People

After watching bits and pieces of both conventions I have come to the conclusion that Republicans are almost all white and beautiful with the occasional Token and Democrats are multi ethnic and not very good looking. I'm just calling it as I see it. Now go listen to Marliyn Manson "The Beautiful People"

And again it happens......

These shop motherf%*$ers have done it to me again. They hit the silent robbery alarm again as they were entering their security code to turn the alarm on as they left the shop and I get a call from the cops saying they are outside my door. At least this time they didn't have their guns drawn on me. After they checked out the shop and saw that everything was OK they were heading toward their cars and I apologized for them having to come out and one of them said "Well....we got to drive fast for a little bit today" as he walked away. I like they way he thinks, sees the bright side of life. In honor of the Adams County Sherriff Office go listen. 

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Friday, August 31, 2012

Old Man Yells @ Chair....

Clint Eastwood pulled a Grandpa Simpson at the Republican Convention.




















If you didn't catch it go watch it here. I think Eastwood's best days are behind him and he should stick with reading scripts and directing.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Quotation " " "

“You stood up, raised your glass and said “I would like to thank the Academy” and then you promptly passed out and fell through a glass table. That is why we cut you off.”









Sign seen at Home Depot on the side of a clearance stove. “I Love Kids” Yeah…..that’s a little creepy.











“I've decided to watch some porn instead of the GOP convention. The acting and storylines are more credible and there's less paid whores.”









“Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.”