Live From My Brothers Basement

Breading

2012-02-10T17:00:00.005-07:00

This is just wrong, but it's funny as hell. Go see More
Might need to try this with Oreo.
Thanks to Elisson

Welcome Home Bro..

2012-02-09T20:00:00.003-07:00

In honor of the Godfather's younger brother and his wife's recently completed cruise of the Western Caribbean I give you "I'm on a Boat"! enjoy

Welcome Home Sis....

2012-02-09T17:00:00.006-07:00

The Godfather's sister and her friend just returned from my favorite vacation destination LAS VEGAS!! Welcome home and I hope you were a winner Chickenhead! I actually got to see and hear this exact song and fountain display combination when I was last in Vegas.

STFU and man the grease gun.....

2012-02-08T17:00:00.002-07:00

I don't know if you have read the article by Gabriel Sherman in the New York Magazine but Matt Tabbi has an excellent rebuttal to it here. I loved the line:

"But what you get everywhere else is a giant clusterfuck that costs the rest of us years and even more billions of tax dollars to remedy."

Wall Street, and their outlandish bonuses, need to come back to earth and do what financiers/bankers are suppose to do which is lend money. That is the position they occupy in America to grease the wheels of commerce, not to be the engine, that is business's domain, the people who actually produce something are the engine. The financiers/bankers compensation is in the interest they make for lending money and for services rendered to business in their banking needs. They brought America to its knees with their gaming of the system, they now need to STFU and man the grease gun.

This is my Life in the Big Company

2012-02-06T17:00:00.021-07:00

An actual email exchange:

Me:Is there a reason for our division getting charged $281.00 and $2,107.50 for calendars, see attached? The $281.00 seems high as we only got 60 calendars and at $2.68/ea. that would be $160.80.
Is the $2,107.50 charge supposed to go to *another division*?
Why are we the only division in *My Company* getting charged? All the other charges are for *Parent Company* offices.
Please advise as soon as possible.
Them:Per *Name Redacted* all of the *My Company* calendars were to be coded to *My Division*. See attached file of offices that received calendars for *My Company*. Might help in doing a DTR. If that number is incorrect, then a DTR would need to be done correct it.

Me: I don’t see a *Name Redacted* in the email directory. How can I reach him.

Them: You can’t – he was terminated last Monday.

I laughed my ass off when that last email came in. No help in trying to figure the problem out just a statement that someone who no longer works here decided to screw your division on his way out. And what the hell is a DTR?

Happy Birthday to the Godfather/Consigliere's Favorite Sister

2012-02-06T15:24:00.001-07:00

Snow

2012-02-06T15:00:00.001-07:00

When the snow is this deep......

You buy this.....

This has been a public service announcement.

Inmates 1, Cops 0

2012-02-03T17:00:00.003-07:00

Some inmate in Vermont pulled the wool over the Vermont State Troopers recently by placing a pig on their cruisers. Pretty clever camouflaging the pig into the cows spots. Read More.

You reap what you sow...

2012-02-02T19:00:00.001-07:00

Imagine law school graduates suing their former Alma maters, yep it's happening. That's funny as hell, you teach them the tools they need to come after you. Kinda like an assassin teaching the next generation of assassins only to become an assassination victim when he wants to retire because you can't have witnesses.

Crap, they have an army?

2012-02-02T17:00:00.001-07:00

I mean, aren't they mean enough that they don't need an ammunition plant.

Day 14 & 16

2012-02-01T15:49:00.005-07:00

Your guess is as good as mine......
I have no clue who Wilamenia is and no idea why the rotten banana is now spooning with it.
Honestly, I am a little creeped out by the recent turn of events in our little science experiment.
If I don't post an update in the next week, please call the authorities......

Sven & Ole Might be on to Something

2012-02-01T12:14:00.001-07:00

I am of the opinion that we cannot change this country for the better through the election process. The election process has been co-op'ed by those with vast sums of money who can buy elections and it has only gotten worse with the Supreme Court's decision to allow corporations to fund Super Pacs. The little guy who wants to have a voice in government doesn't stand a chance at winning an election unless he has been approved by someone who has the funds to pay for their campaign which makes them beholden to their benefactor.

The Swedes and the Norwegians have taken a different path than our country and have achieved vastly different results from what we have now in our country. They have faced the same situations as we have and have gone a different route which seems to have led to more equality and prosperity for all.

Please go read the following and see if it resonates with you.
How the Swedes and Norwegians Broke the Power of the 1%

Superbowl Commercial Previews

2012-01-31T19:03:00.001-07:00

This year those commercials will include one of my favorite movies and sitcoms.....
These are greatness!

Photo Radar...The Funny Side

2012-01-27T17:00:00.001-07:00

This is hilarious but it is a little dangerous and might be illegal.

Gordon Gekko vs Mitt Romney

2012-01-26T18:00:00.001-07:00

Stolen from Lynnrocket's Blast-off

It's a movie for crying out loud...

2012-01-25T14:42:00.001-07:00

The lepers have complained about the trailer so they are taking out the scene where a lepers arm falls off. Come on people its a stop action fictional film. The movie looks pretty funny.

Ghost, The New Adventures

2012-01-24T19:00:00.031-07:00

Remember back in 1990 when Ghost came out and Patrick Swayze was able to move things in the physical world after his death. Well it's basically the same story, a man in Fond Du Lac, WI says a ghost beat up his wife. It could happen and it was probably that damned subway ghost. Now our younger brother used to live in Fond Du Lac but no longer resides there so this individual is not our brother. Alcohol was involved, no brainer there, and he does have an ample imagination which will help him in prison as he is assaulted in the showers.

Did you know that the subway ghost was Mr. Vargas in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? I did not.

Who should you vote for....

2012-01-24T17:00:00.002-07:00

Take the quiz and it will show you who most closely matches your views in the presidential election

Take Quiz Now

Thanks to Mr Ritholtz at The Big Picture

Mine came out with 1.) Barack Obama, 2.) Jon Huntsman(dropped out), 3.) Mitt Romney

Doug Lamborn is an Idiot

2012-01-24T15:00:00.003-07:00

One of our Colorado Congressman, Doug Lamborn of the 5th District which includes Colorado Springs,(not my district but it looks bad for all Coloradoans) has decided to skip the State of the Union Address tonight because he does not agree with the President's policies. This is everything that is wrong with politics right now. There is no civility, no respect for others. There once was a time when politician worked together to make the country better. They would work deals where everybody got a little, no one got everything but they were working toward a collective better future. The politicians are acting like spoiled children today, throwing a tantrum when they don't get their way. It time for a spanking if you ask me, this crap has got to stop.
Doug Lamborn it's time for you to grow up and act like an adult. You were elected to govern, not to soil your diapers when don't get your way.

Always been a fan of Star Wars...

2012-01-24T10:21:00.002-07:00

and this is great. Good job Volkswagen.
The consigliere is giving me grief over this post but I think it's funny as hell with the big black dog with the Darth Vader chest plate, the big white dog in the back left looks like a stormtrooper, the ewok in the lower right with his hood, Chewbacca to the left of Darth Vader with the bandoleer, Princess Leia in the lower left with her cinnamon bun ears, Luke Skywalker to her right with his light saber and then the Imperial Walker at the end, its funny.

Chinese Year of the Dragon starts today....

2012-01-23T18:00:00.004-07:00

....and oddly I'm in the mood for some take-out.

Spicy Wine

2012-01-23T15:00:00.007-07:00

If you infused capsaicin in wine would you have a.....

Jalapinot Grigio

I'm sorry, that was just bad wasn't it.

Day 5 & 6 - Science Experiment

2012-01-23T11:05:00.004-07:00

No significant progress & nothing new to report here, but that's what The Godfather & Consig appreciate about our roommate.......consistency.

GOP Debate Tonight

2012-01-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

The GOP debate tonight is happening at my Alma mater, The University of South Florida. I hope the audience is a little better behaved than previous audiences who booed at a military service man who is gay, cheered the death penalty, were all for a poor person dying because he couldn't afford health care and booed a moderator while he was asking a question. Come on people let's think before you open your pie holes or do anything that exposes your bigotry. You're entitled to your opinions but on national television you just expose yourself and the GOP(all the audience members are hand picked GOP donors and volunteers) as uncaring imbeciles who only think of themselves. Don't be that guy.

Attention Godfather's Younger Brother...

2012-01-19T19:01:00.001-07:00

The Godfather's younger brother is a Prius owner and maybe he should look into obtaining one of these fine looking camper shells for his Prius. I/m kidding bro, this has got to be the ugliest thing I've seen in a while and I recently had a endoscopy done and those pictures where better looking than this.

Endorsements..

2012-01-19T18:01:00.002-07:00

So Gingrich has been endorsed by Sarah Palin and Rick Perry. Two ~~of our greatest minds~~ idiots think you should vote for Gingrich. That's the kind of ringing endorsements I want in my candidate. Good luck with that Newt. Who names their kid after a salamander anyways?

That's gonna leave a mark.....

2012-01-19T17:01:00.003-07:00

Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich just got sucker punched by wife number two that's bound to be felt throughout the religious rights's ranks with the revelation that Newt wanted an open marriage as he was having an affair with soon to be wife number three, as if three marriage didn't already disqualify him from the religious rights's vote. I guess the religious right has only Santorum now as Perry has dropped from the race. Romney even with his stellar marriage can't overcome his Mormonism in the religious rights view. I believe Romney has this thing pretty much in the bag anyhow as he is the only candidate with a chance of defeating Obama even though I don't think he can. We really need a third party with a candidate that moderates like me could get behind. Ron Paul might run as a third party candidate but his isolationist views are troubling and his view of basically no government is ridiculous and makes him unelectable.

New Restaurant Chain....

2012-01-18T19:00:00.016-07:00

I was going through the equipment reports for all the jobs in the company (169 pages worth) and came across a job that I thought said "Burgers & Nipples" as I zipped through the PDF file looking for our jobs, I had to go back a page or two to see if my eyes had deceived me. They had and it was actually "Burgess & Niple". I had a good laugh and then it dawned on me that would be a good name for a topless burger joint. All the burgers would come without a top bun and there would be a slice of Roma tomato and half a black olive on top of each burger patty, you could order the top bun for a penny if you wanted it.

And you were thinking it was topless women serving burgers didn't you, you sick bastard, but I like the way you think.

Reminds me of a joke.

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

Day 1 - Science Experiment

2012-01-17T10:27:00.002-07:00

Stay tuned to find out what our mad scientist roommate has got up her sleeve for this vegetable.....

Please Hire Me!

2012-01-12T12:20:00.004-07:00

Help. I have way too much time on my hands!!!!!

See current resume in picture below.
Please disregard my previous resume post.

My Qualifications:
Honest (never let the facts get in the way)
Team Player (ask all my friends)
Dependable (never use same excuse twice)
Punctual (will work 9am-5pm or 9pm-5am)

I knew it!

2012-01-12T07:00:00.009-07:00

I've long had my suspicions that the sexes were not the same species but now finally a study that proves it. As you can probably tell I'm not married and never have been, in fact my signature post at the end of all my emails is "Married men may live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die".
Don't get wrong though, I love the ladies but I've never understood the thought processes that women have and probably never will.

Since the last post was....

2012-01-11T17:00:00.003-07:00

...mainly for the men in the audience here is a little sometime for the ladies, thanks to the Godfather's sister.

Look for the Ron Jeremy cameo

I'm not into fashion....

2012-01-11T12:06:00.001-07:00

... so I've never heard of Kate Upton but wow, just wow.

GO BRONCOS!!!!

2012-01-09T11:38:00.001-07:00

"Holy Horseshit"
This was the exclamation proclaimed by our sister in a text after the remarkable, nay improbable win by the DENVER BRONCOS in yesterday's exciting and cold playoff game. That exclamation was heard a few times around our house from our father as we grew up and now it seems it is being carried forward by the next generation.

Christmas Bender
Tebow, as you are probably well aware, does his best to work in "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" into every other sentence during interviews along with the classic staples of "One Game At A Time" and "Giving 110%". I have no ill will against Timmy for wearing his faith on his sleeve as I also believe in God but I do so in a more subdued manner, but it does open him up for jokes about his faith. And on to the jokes, I have an possible explanation for the Broncos recent horrible games around Christmas and the subsequent win yesterday and that is that Jesus was on a birthday bender, probably in Vegas and could not help Tebow in those games. A Jesus birthday bender and subsequent hangover is the only explanation that makes any sense on how Timmy can be so awful the last three games and then POW! he looks like John Elway. There must be some divine intervention going on. Jesus does everything big, just look at the feeding of the 5,000 for example, so his own birthday party would be epic and last for weeks and would have included Sunday Dec 18th and Saturday Dec 24 and the hangover would have lasted a week in itself and would have included Sunday January 1st. I know some of you would say that Jesus doesn't get hangovers, he's the son of God for his sake, but I say in human form Christ is not immune to liquors revenge. So there you have it, Jesus had a hell of a birthday party and that is the reason the Broncos didn't have any help until yesterday. If you have another explanation use the comments to let me know.

To the Steelers Fans in Section 234
.....and to the Steelers fans in front of us at the stadium take your yellow towels and stick them up your collective asses as you made watching the game almost impossible by constantly waving them around, hitting myself and the Consigliere a few times and then keeping me from being able to view the game as you displayed them above your head in my sight line. By the way, Bill said he had a nice large trash bag to place your Steelers pillow in that you left behind at the stadium as you quietly slipped away with your tails between your legs after all the trash talking you did, Raiders fans are more considerate.

Bronco Scripture for Playoffs this Sunday?

2012-01-06T10:51:00.002-07:00

Matthew 7:27
"The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
Godfather and Consigliere at the Authority:

Denver's Still's Museum Vandalized....

2012-01-06T01:00:00.001-07:00

She looks normal enough to me. Of course I'm kidding, love the tat work on her neck and chest. The painting is also shown in the article linked to above and its an abstract piece of art. I suppose it could look like used toilet paper though if you have a little blood in your stool and that might have been the reason for her rubbing her butt against it and then urinating near it.

Stolen from Wirecutter

2012-01-05T07:00:00.002-07:00

I don't agree politically with wirecutter but I like his writing style and I think it's good to keep up with what the far right extreme is thinking and he does have some funny stuff in his blog, even the stuff he considers serious I find laughable sometimes. It's the same reason I listen to Rush Limbaugh sometimes, it's for the entertainment value I get out of his callers and his interaction with them.

New Reality TV Show coming soon....

2012-01-04T22:00:00.001-07:00

Now that neither has a shot at the big house in Washington

New Reality TV Show Coming Soon....

"The Almost Presidents"

starring Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin

See which one can say the dumbest thing and actually believe it!

Men are now determined to be useless....

2012-01-04T20:00:00.002-07:00

"Men Are Now Determined to be Useless" will read the headline once the women get a hold of this , we men are on our own as women will no longer need us.

Republican Caucus....not suitable for young minds

2012-01-04T17:00:00.001-07:00

Possible Democratic SuperPac commercial idea:

(camera pan into two young people on a park bench drinking Starbucks coffee)
Young Person #1(YP#1) "I'm surprised the Republicans go to these caucuses"
Young Person #2(YP#2) "What do you mean?"
YP#1 "Well they are obviously against their family values platform and quite possibly homosexual in nature."
YP#2 "I'm not following you"
YP#1 "You can't get a cock and an ass that close and still be considered a Republican can you?"
YP#2 (sprays coffee out of his/her nose)
YP#1 "I mean maybe if you're are a Republican Congressman or Senator you can."
YP#2 (sprays coffee out of his/her mouth)
YP#1 "But the typical Republican voter should be appalled at the thought of attending one of these events."
YP#2 "Speaking of caucuses have you ever Googled "Santorum" and looked at the first result?"
YP#1 "I don't think I want our country to be led by something named santorum"
YP#1 & YP#2 (laughing and sipping coffee as the camera pans out)

Brought to you by the all inclusive Democratic Party.
To see how santorum could effect Santorum's campaign please see this article in Mother Jones.

We don't get many comments......

2012-01-03T09:24:00.002-07:00

On a post the consigliere did about growing up in our household over a year ago I just noticed we got a comment and I thought I should respond. Here is the comment and my response.
2 comments:
Anonymous said...
Loved this review on walmart's web page for a blu ray player with wifiDidn't Do My Homework, Had To Return This, 12/15/2010Boo Hoo to me. I was under the impression that I would just plug this in and start streaming Netflix. As soon as I took the manual out of the box, I knew I was in trouble. Didn't read enough before I bought this. We still have dial-up here in our area. Was so looking forward to using this player. If and when we get some kind of fast internet service here, I will buy this again. No problem returning this back to my WM, they understood. I'm bummed. How am I supposed to rate this when I didn't even take it out of the box.
January 14, 2011 5:47 PM

The Godfather said...
I'm sorry your Blu-Ray player didn't work out for you. But if your comment on this blog to a review on walmart's web page tells me anything it's that you're a complete idiot.
January 3, 2012 9:22 AM

Maybe this is why we don't get comments.........

The Buccaneers Are Coming, The Buccaneers are Coming....

2012-01-03T08:55:00.009-07:00

The Buccaneers Are Coming, The Buccaneers are Coming....

The Bucs are coming to Mile High next season, yeeeeeaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

AFC WEST
1. Denver Broncos
Home: Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, Cleveland Browns, Pittsburgh Steelers, Houston Texans, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Away: Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, New England Patriots, Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers

Now what jersey am I going to wear though.....?

Heard on the Radio....

2012-01-02T09:12:00.005-07:00

A caller into 850KOA this morning said...

"The Broncos look like they are in the prevent offense"

I got a little chuckle out of it. Well the Broncos back doored into the playoffs thanks to the Chargers and will face the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday Jan 8th. I also heard on the same show that the Steelers RB might be out and Rapistberger is injured. Can the Broncos get lucky again and meet the competition when they are down like we did with so many other teams during the 6 game winning streak? Only time will tell......but I'm not holding my breath.....we're not that good.

Now I got to figure out what they eat in Pittsburgh so I can plan the tailgating menu.

TIMMY !, lamalo lamalo, timmy..... shhhhhhh....... timmy

Quote of the Day....

2011-12-28T11:27:00.002-07:00

".....It is the corruption, money-based, that has settled like some all-enveloping excremental mist on the landscape of our hopes...." Michael Thomas @ The Daily Beast

Read the whole article here.

I think it sums up my feeling on the situation much more eloquently than I could ever write. One can dream that the bastards will get what is coming to them. Hopefully those dreams can be made into reality someday.

1 Year To Go....

2011-12-21T10:19:00.001-07:00

....til the end of the world

Social Media's Everwidening Footprint....

2011-12-20T16:41:00.003-07:00

Do you want a glimpse of the future. This could be coming sooner than you think. Watch what you post under your name and be mindful of who you friend on the Internet.

Big Corp is always watching.....

My social media presence is minuscule and I like it that way. Of course there might be money to be made in gaming the system by selling friendships to those needing quality friends to get loans or jobs.

"The issue's not whether you're paranoid, the issue is whether you're paranoid enough...."

This is what happens....

2011-12-19T11:47:00.003-07:00

.... when you spend too much on your stadium and skimp on the little things like parking brakes for your carts.

Planking,Tebowing,Batmaning......Now Horsemaning

2011-12-09T14:33:00.002-07:00

Planking, Tebowing, Batmaning are so yesterday but what about yesteryear...take alook.

Godfather's Birthday

2011-08-10T19:17:00.001-06:00

IOC are Haters!

2011-05-27T18:26:00.003-06:00

The IOC turned down this event request. Haters!
Are the Olympics ready for ... pole dancing?

A Year of Cell Phone Adventures Courtesy of Android

2011-05-15T11:33:00.001-06:00

Godfather Family Cruise

2011-05-13T19:29:00.001-06:00

CBS Sunday Morning - May Pole Dance Competition

2011-05-05T15:54:00.000-06:00

Godfather & Consigliere's Roommate's Resume

2011-04-20T15:28:00.001-06:00

Crystal

2011-04-07T18:06:00.001-06:00

Its World Water Day....

2011-03-22T09:34:00.002-06:00

I have a feeling Japan will not be celebrating this year.....

World Water Day

Open Letter to NFL Owners/Players

2011-03-20T15:16:00.005-06:00

I am not taking sides on the NFL lockout, but I would like to weigh in on some player comments and plead with both sides to get it resolved....now!
I am genuinely concerned that Congress may repeal the 1st Amendment based on recent comments from Andrian Peterson and other players.
Namely, comparing his plight (and $7 million contract) to modern day slavery. Are you f-ing serious?
We are only a couple weeks away from NFLers of the Hebrew Nation making Holocaust references or intellectual NFL players quoting Revenge of the Nerds. When will it all end?!?!?
And where was this circus animal's agent (or posse members) to duct tape his mouth (and/or keyboard) shut. And what about teammate Toby Gerhart who actually attended college classes.
Here are a few of my recommendations that NFL owners can use in negotiations to resolve this lockout:
> Mandatory American History classes for players.
> Team viewing of the Roots TV series (and my favorite Toby, aka Kunta Kinte)
> Ban on NFL Twittering unless player parent is present.

An old stand up routine from Eddie Murphy puts these mouth-breathing player comments in very good perspective. Apologies for the colorful language, but it helps get the point across.

Death to Car Talk (and Science Friday and Prarie Home Companion)

2011-03-17T20:59:00.006-06:00

Congrats to The House for a budget saving measure to cut NPR funding!!! This 0.000001% cut in the federal budget is really gonna put a huge dent in our nation deficit. Thank God we finally have some connected politicians who are ready to step up and address the serious issues of our country's financial troubles.....

Japan+Fukushima Reactors=Godzilla

2011-03-16T11:25:00.008-06:00

What we really need to fear.....

Japan

Fukushima Reactors

GODZILLA

Japan+Fukushima Reactors=Godzilla

2011-03-16T11:22:00.002-06:00

What we really need to fear......

One of the Godfather's Favorite Holidays...

2011-03-14T10:42:00.008-06:00

Today is National Pi Day!

I Like Pie!!!

This has the Consigliere written all over it...

2011-03-09T15:58:00.004-07:00

Check out the article.

The relevant facts:

The Consigliere is a Gator, a Florida Gator that is.

The Consigliere was born in Hemet, CA

Now his drug use is in his past but he does still enjoy Mr Maker's Amber Restorative.

Noooooooooo.........

2011-03-09T15:43:00.003-07:00

I don't think they are stopping the production of Captain Crunch but when you stop advertising it, isn't that the first step towards discontinuing it? Read the Article. Funny comments, one person thinks that Obama's health care plan or Michelle Obama's healthy eating initiative has caused this and they are calling the Obamas cereal (serial) killers.

Recent Consigliere Dating Video

2011-03-07T12:31:00.000-07:00

Charlie Sheen takes over Wall Street.......

2011-03-07T10:14:00.002-07:00

From a financial blog I read:

"Rankings formerly known as “Buy” “Neutral” “Sell” and “Sell Short” have been given more descriptive terms. Buy is now WINNING, Neutral has been changed to GODDESSES, Sell is TURD and Sell Short is AT WAR.

Also please be aware that our long short portfolio has been renamed TIGER BLOOD TRADING."

Charlie Sheen is everywhere.......

Charlie Sheen quotes are cuter with small furry animals...

2011-03-03T14:36:00.004-07:00

Sarah's Descent.....

2011-02-28T10:51:00.002-07:00

Click Funny or Die

Sarah's Little Helper
Sarah's Magic Dragon
Sarah's Sweet Leaf
Sarah's in the Sky with Diamonds
Sarah's White Rabbit
Sarah's Purple Haze
Sarah's Mr. Brownstone

His parents must have hated him....

2011-02-09T08:29:00.002-07:00

A former four term mayor of Fort Wayne IN won't be getting a building named after him due to his name. His name.......Harry Baals(pronounced "balls"). How could you name your kid Harry Baals. Funnier yet is the title to the article "Scratch 'Harry Baals" off list......"

Truth is funnier than fiction.

Life Growing Up For the Godfather & Consigliere

2011-01-05T19:27:00.002-07:00

Funny, but a bad practical joke.....

2011-01-05T14:48:00.003-07:00

Must Visit For My Wisconsin Relatives!

2010-12-05T10:47:00.002-07:00

Kovac Planetarium
This CBS Sunday Morning video is worth the watch!

Musings from a Broncos Game.....

2010-11-29T18:01:00.003-07:00

I became a season ticket holder to the Broncos this year after about eight years on the waiting list. Yesterday's game was the coldest I've been to yet, including light intermittent snow flurries in the 4th quarter. At halftime I had to go buy a hat and a second blanket. I'm a big man and I handle the cold pretty well but yesterday I couldn't take it anymore. The wind was blowing straight at us from the north as a cold front moved through during the 1st quarter.

If you're ever at the Broncos game steer clear of Tito's Taco Hut(or something like that). Spent $12(including guac and sour cream) on a burrito called the El Jefe which was square. Burritos are not square but this one was. I got the steak(carne asada) and what little steak there was included a large hunk of grizzle. I crave Chipolte burritos and they are three times the size of this burrito at half the price. I know it's the stadium and you're going to pay more but at least make the burrito into a cylinder and cut out the grizzle for crying out loud.

Cheerleaders were bundled up to the hilt and there was no cleavage shots even with the binoculars. Could not look through the binoculars after halftime as I was shaking too much even with the two blankets, a hat, gloves, jacket and a sweatshirt on.

Hot chocolate by the time it makes it up to my seat 1 row from the top in the southstands is merely luke warm chocolate.

Squirrels live in Mile High Stadium and one scored twice during the game, the squirrel(or maybe there was two) actually ran onto the field twice(once in each endzone) and ran across the goal line. We cheered as up to that point the Broncos gave us nothing to cheer about.

Stadium was as empty as I've ever seen it. They normally announce the attendance and we boo at the no shows, no attendance number yesterday.

I'm going to need to get warmer clothes for these winter games, maybe a snowmobile outfit including goggles.

Oh yeah the Broncos lost, again.....

What are you doing for Thanksgiving.....

2010-11-24T11:26:00.003-07:00

I was asked this recently in a text message and so I responded:

"Watching football, crank calling Indian reservations & eating turkey pot pie while wearing nothing but a pilgrim hat, same thing I do every year."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Damn you space bastard...you killed my pine....

2010-11-23T16:23:00.004-07:00

Ever since the Consigliere moved in, my trees just haven't been the same. Now initially I figured he was relieving himself on the trees. He denied it completely of course. Now at the same time he also setup his office in my basement(hence the blog name) and installed a wireless network in the home. After reading this article maybe I was too quick in judging his bathroom habits, but I none the less can still blame the Consigliere for my trees' condition.

Title of the post is from "Back to the Future" when Marty Mcfly runs over Old Man Peabody's pine tree with the Delorean.

(the photo kinda looks like my dad if he were to be screaming with a shotgun, I suppose only the raccoon on the deck would know for sure)

Speedo & Flip Flop protest...

2010-11-22T11:44:00.004-07:00

Another individual has had it with the TSA security measures and stripped to his underwear to show he was hiding nothing and got arrested for it. Its time for all of us to wear nothing but speedos and flip flops to the airport. Who's with me?

I could never get any takers....

2010-11-22T10:23:00.005-07:00

A "woman" has been arrested in Idaho for performing fake breast examinations in local bars. I say "woman" because I guess this lady use to be a dude. I've got nothing against breast exams in bars, I've tried to perform several myself but the women all refused.

If you touch my Junk........

2010-11-16T09:29:00.003-07:00

I'm sure you've all seen or heard about this.

And Now......
Top Ten other things you could say at the airport instead of "I'll have you arrested"

If you touch my junk.....

10. you'll owe me at least dinner.
9. do I get double my airline miles?
8. can I at least keep my over sized shampoo & conditioner?
7. you'll owe me $20 for a feelsy.
6. we'll have to get married.(Valid in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, D.C.)
5. please tell me if you think it feels infected.
4. please tell the lady behind me that it will be worth her while.
3. should I cough to make it feel like I'm at the doctor's office.
2. do I have to march in the gay pride parade with you next year.

and the number one other thing you could say....

1. can I at least request that a female TSA employee touch my junk instead?

Better yet why not just have a dedicated area of female strippers to search the men and Chippendale's to search the women, lets make flying fun again. Bonus, this idea guarantees no Muslim terrorist would ever fly again.

God knows I Love'm.....

2010-11-15T15:04:00.004-07:00

Click here to get your t-shirts and wrist bands.

Choices, Choices, Choices......

2010-11-15T10:29:00.001-07:00

I've solved the Budget Deficit, How about you?

These are not the missiles you are looking for......

2010-11-10T15:07:00.006-07:00

This is the "Official" government statement of the
supposed missile launch off the coast of California:

"Swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a
thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus."

Nothing to see here, move along........

The story as it where. Typical government cover up,
can't even come up with a good cover story.

Jimmy McMillans Vote Count Wasn't Too Damn High

2010-11-03T11:22:00.002-06:00

I love this guy, but sadly he did not win the New York Governor's seat.

Watch the video

He did beat the escort madam Kristen Davis though:

See the results

Happy Halloween

2010-11-01T10:40:00.003-06:00

Godfather's Jack-O-Lantern made from produce out of the

Godfather's father's Wisconsin garden.

It's not a hat its a horn!

My neighbors said to me that that they live next to a disturbed

individual........I gotta find out who they're talking about.

McRib Mystery Explained (partially)

2010-10-20T17:13:00.003-06:00

The Godfather and I are huge fans of this mystery McDs sandwich. He also has blogged about its pork goodness/elusiveness recently. Well, NPR has researched the subject and have documented their findings in this article and podcast (its a good listen): Fan Alert: The Wild McRib Has Been Sighted
There is also google maps mashup tool (user contributions) for locating their availability: McRib Locator

Would you vote for Rich Whitey?

2010-10-19T10:11:00.002-06:00

Found this at another blog and thought it was too funny. The fact that it mostly occurred at predominantly minority polling places makes you wonder if it was intentional. Can you see a minority individual going into vote and having a choice between several candidates and one of them is Rich Whitey. I don't see him getting any votes in these wards.

Denver Hosting Nascar Race......sort of

2010-10-15T11:17:00.002-06:00

Good news for the Godfather!
Watch the press conference here:

Poor and Stupid
Tags: SOUTH
PARK Eric Cartman,Leopold "Butters" Stotch,more...

And watch the other related videos from the same episode! They are all greatness. And how about their corporate sponsor?!?!?
Best part about this South Park parody is Nascar drivers get it. They are not mad and actually appreciate the publicity. They know that nothing is sacred with South Park writers......

Pat Tillman Memorial Bridge

2010-10-09T10:28:00.002-06:00

This bridge engineering is greatness and an awesome tribute to one of my favorite American heros! The Godfather took me to see the construction a year ago.
Hoover Dam bypass bridge dedication planned next week

Going Postal..

2010-10-08T10:21:00.003-06:00

The postal service union has determined that thousands of mailed out ballots for the unions own election have been lost in the mail. I'm sorry, buts thats funny.

I continue to use the mail for bill paying, hey I'm old school, because I like the act of sitting down and seeing where all my money goes to when I write out my checks. I think it helps reinforce that I need to spend less. If I just clicked on a button to pay a bill I don't think it would register as deeply as when I write out a check. I do have two bills that do get taken out directly out of my account and it just doesn't seem to be the same.

Congrats to Kim Jong Il's Offspring!

2010-10-01T09:45:00.003-06:00

On their well deserved promotions to Senior (4 Star) Generals.
Kim Jong Il Promotes Youngest Son and Daughter
N Korea is very well run country and is destined for greatness based on Kim Jong's leadership and these recent promotions.
And I love the fact that his kids were educated outside that country.

Not Good Enough for the Homeless

2010-09-30T14:55:00.002-06:00

LeBron's old Cleveland Cavs jerseys are not wanted by the homeless in Miami:
Miami Coalition rejects LeBron James's jerseys for homeless.

In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra

2010-09-24T16:31:00.002-06:00

Gotta love Fox News: In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra

Anyone for a little Beastiality????

2010-09-09T14:08:00.002-06:00

I won't be attending this show:

From the ad:

"A Magical Encounter Between Man and Horse"

"...contains the most horse love you've ever seen...."

Yeah.......not my cup of tea.

Discovery Channel Held Hostage

2010-09-01T15:02:00.002-06:00

This guy can't be all bad look at his quote:

" Nothing is more important than saving ... the Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels. The humans? The planet does not need humans.”

Froggies? not just Frogs but Froggies. I myself am partial to froggies including having a stuffed animal shaped like a froggy as a child that was orange fabric on top and multicolored fabric on the bottom and probably weights a good two to three pounds with the beanie bag chair filling inside of it.

and, of course, the Squirrels, I like squirrels too, in fact I kept a squirrel alive through a winter after it had lost a hand in combat probably with the neighbors cat by feeding it almonds and pecans, I named it Stumpy.

By the way the title came from my receptionist who came into the lunch room while I eating and said that some guy was holding the Discovery Channel hostage.

Two Beers and Jump…..The Ballad of Steven Slater

2010-08-13T14:32:00.000-06:00

This is the good time song of this summer.
Slater has become a pop culture icon for the way he handled airline customer service and the way he quit his job. Fallon sums up the story with this tune.
(new business idea mental note: inflatable slide rentals for disgruntled employees/spouses/tech support)

Tech Support - Top Secret Flowchart

2010-08-12T17:08:00.003-06:00

If I have ever helped you with an IT issue, I would like to pull back the curtain and take you behind the scenes.
But sadly, the Consigliere uses no special sauce to assist with your computer problems.....just the following flow chart:

Armpit of America

2010-07-26T10:59:00.001-06:00

I've always known Newark NJ as the armpit of America but now it seems its gotten a little shittier.

Random Craigslist Story

2010-07-21T13:25:00.002-06:00

A funny thing happened the other day as Suzanne and I are grilling out in the driveway. A young couple pulls into the driveway and get out of their car. Suzanne is busy with yard work, so I introduced myself and made some small talk. I assumed they were friends of Suz or new to the neighborhood (and wanted to introduce themselves). Then after a brief moment of awkward silence, I asked "Whats up?" They said they were here for the Dressers. My initial assumption was incorrect and I made another assumption that Dresser was a last name and yelled to Suz, "Which of your neighbors are the Dressers?" At about this time one of the two was frantically looking for an address while the other explained they were here for some Craigslist items. Turns out they were a block off. I wished them well with their Craigslist adventures and off they went into the sunset......

Fake 'American' Rappers Pretended to be from Hemet, CA!

2010-07-19T16:45:00.003-06:00

Hemet (my birth place) has a new 15 mins of fame in American pop culture via this NPR podcast:
The Fake 'American' Rappers Who Fooled Everyone
This podcast is worth listening to just for the story, but I am still puzzled by why they picked Hemet as their fake home town. I find that part of story very humorous.
From the transcript.....
Interviewer: "You'd never been to America, right?"
Rapper: "No, I'd never, ever been. Billy had cousins in Hemet, California. So the backstory basically was we were raised in Hemet, we were, you know, bad asses at school. We always got kicked out of school. Our dad worked in insurance.
Hemet was also the fictitious home town of Brad Pitt in one of my favorite movies, Spy Game.

Death of Pork Barrel

2010-06-28T09:44:00.004-06:00

God be with Sen. Byrd's family as they morn the loss of my favorite career politician.
OK, the rest of this post may sound like I'm dancing on his grave. I am not, but i am going to vent on his style of politics.....namely (and solely) to get reelected.
This guy was the poster child for why we need single term limits for ALL elected officials. That will never happen, but here is a great video tribute to the king of legislative earmarks:

BP Spills Coffee

2010-06-11T10:38:00.000-06:00

Forbidden Doughnut....

2010-06-09T11:25:00.002-06:00

A Seattle Seahawk's player was given a warning for entering "Top Pot" doughnuts @ 3 AM in the morning and taking some doughnuts. The Seahawk's player lives in the same building as the doughnut shop and just wandered in. At 3 AM he was probably coming home from a bar and had the munchies. Not really news except for the blurb:

"Top Pot recently signed an agreement with the Seahawks' stadium, Qwest Field, to sell doughnuts and coffee during NFL and Major League Soccer games."

This stinks of a marketing campaign not a crime blotter report.