Farewell Farrah...

Being a teen in the early 80's and just discovering the joys of masturbation, she was one of the women I often thought of during such discovery's.

Children around the world are once again safe....

Michael Jackson will no longer be able to entice youngster with "Jesus Juice" but he may have to answer to Jesus himself.

Honesty, maybe not the best policy....

Iranian Elections....

Read in the Denver post today....yes I am one of the few that still read a newspaper daily.

"The Guardian Council agreed last week to investigate some opposition complaints. Council spokesman Abbas Ali Kadkhodaei was quoted on the state TV website Monday as saying that its probe showed more votes were cast in the 50 districts than there were registered voters. But that "has no effect on the result of the elections" he said."

Whatever he's smoking, I'd like to get me a little.....

It floats...

Took the boat out for a spin on Chatfield Lake yesterday evening. I purchased a friend of TripLikeIDo's share of the boat so now it is co-owned by myself and TripLikeIDo. It ran well for the hour or so we were on the water. We were suppose to be out a little longer but TripLikeIDo was delayed in Bailey at the big Hot Dog and then he didn't pull the drain plug, so when we got to inspection and opened up the drain plug a ton of water came out of the bilge(TripLikeIDo claims it was rain water(which we have had a lot of lately)). It use to be dry stacked in Austin so they never pulled the plug out. We then had to follow the park ranger to the decontamination area to have the boat thoroughly douched with hot water to kill any zebra mussels which everyone is concerned about out here as they really screw stuff up. Not sure how much time I'll have for boating this summer as I continue to work on the wall in the backyard and I still have my other boat's interior to redo.

It's not even covered...

$300,000 paid for a parking space . I bought my house for slightly less than that at the top of the market in Denver and I've got a three car garage. Of course my house is worth substantially less now. The property tax assessment dropped almost $40,000 from the last assessment which was just under what I bought it for three years ago.

The tribe has spoken....

I fired the accounting clerk on Friday and while I was outside smoking a cigarette contemplating how to fire her I came up with the idea to fire her "Survivor" style. I was going to have her come into the conference room and pull pieces of paper with her name on it out of an ice bucket we have and tell her the tribe has spoken bring me your torch. I thought it was a pretty funny way to fire someone. I ended up starting the firing by tell her that it wasn't her week(she had gotten a speeding ticket on Wednesday trying to get back to work after dealing with her daughter)and that I was terminating her employment. She took it pretty well and wanted to know why i was firing her(I had a list of ten things already to go for her). When you just don't care about someone, firing them isn't too hard.

Not a twitterer....

Found this funny article on the web about one and done twitters. I love the following from the article discribing one and done tweets that might have ended badly:

Phillyrules: it hurts to breathe. should I go to the hospital?
10:09 PM Aug 23rd, 2008

muthuboss: life is hopeless ......
10:26 PM Jul 6th, 2008

rvictor: Trying to escape this insanity
7:24 PM Jan 7th

especially this one:
jeffreyshardy: Sitting next to a big, hairy, smelly guy on the bus
5:04 PM Feb 11th

DouglasAllen: I am writing an email to the makers of Spray N Wash to thank them for making a product that got the blood stains out of my new PJs and robe.
7:40 PM Aug 27th, 2007

Packed like cord wood....

I read about this in the newspaper today and was suprised it was an SUV and not a VW Bug like they use in the circus.

Not to PC...

While helping a friend get ready for her move the door bell rings. We were in the garage and figured it was the neighborhood children wanting to play with her dog. We let the dog out the garage door to go meet the children but we heard barking instead. I went outside and around the corner to the front door to discover a scared african american teenager at the front door looking to sell something door to door. After assuring him that the dog was all bark and no bite he left. I proceeded to go back to the garage while trying to control my laughter that we had just sicked the dog on a african american which is so not right. We had a good laugh as it was so not PC but we didn't know that it wasn't the neighborhood children. Am I a bad person for thinking this was funny?

A little to close....

A tornado touched down about a mile north of my home Sunday at Buckley Airforce Base and then bounced over my subdivision and touched down about a mile southeast of my home in the Southlands Mall area. We got about an inch of gravel sized hail which took off some of the new buds on the evergreens and some leaves on the trees but left no dents in the cars. The mall got nailed hard by the tornado and lime size hail, as did the Lowe's in the area and some condo's nearby. No one was seriously hurt except for the idiot who decided to record the tornado and got swept off his balcony and was thrown into his neighbors yard. I was not home at the time but was on my way home and actually saw the tornado but at that time it looked like it was well south of my home, little did I know how close it came at that time. Springtime in the Rockies can be interesting.

He was just giving him a hand down....

I've been upset in traffic on I-25 but I don't think I would do this to another human being but I suppose after waitng in traffic for 5 hrs I just might. Thanks to DrowseyMonkey

Morons to the left of me, Morons to the right...

Here I am stuck in the middle of a SOX audit.

I work for a company that falls under Sarbanes Oxley and our audit is coming up and as the controller I have to get all our ducks in a row. The estimators have completely screwed up the bid log and 3 of the 5 items the auditor wants to see don't match up mathematically. The bid log has one number ,the bid sheet has another. How f'ing difficult is it to put the right numbers down. My accounting clerk is in charge of sending out the SOX reports for the PM's to sign and the one PM that I warned her about has once again dropped the ball. I can't stand this, its a good thing she's getting fired next Friday, I can't do this again with her. Her package she gave me was missing items and out of order. How difficult is it to follow a list and put them in the order on the list and let me know what's missing, does she think I'm not going to check everything before I hand it off. Just had to get that off my chest, I feel better now.

For the love of....answer the question!!!!!

Actual Email Exchange between myself (ME) and the Payroll Manager (PR MGR) concerning a W-4 I submitted for our Chief Estimator(CE):


ME: Attached is CE's W-4.

PR MGR: He is claiming 25 and our limit in our system is 10. If I put in 25 then it will default to 0 exemptions.

ME: How did his paycheck go through for PR weekending 05/10/2009?(I had sent in the W-4 prior to the last payroll with the 25 exemptions on it) It took out the right amount of taxes. Does 10 exemptions create no tax liability and then only the amount in Line 6 will be taken out for taxes?

PR MGR: He wanted a set amount deducted so we put that into the system to deduct.

ME: So is his W-4 OK then with 25 or do we need to do one with 10 on it? CE wants to keep the taxes the same as the last paycheck for the rest of the year. If by putting 10 exemptions on the W-4 accomplishes that then we’ll do it but if it withholds more in fed and state taxes then we have a problem changing his W-4.

PR MGR: It is currently set up to ignore the tax tables and take the dollar amount that he indicated for state and federal taxes.

Do you see a pattern here? anyone anyone...
She would not answer my questions so I gave up and I'm not sending another W-4 for the CE until she answers my questions. This lady is not smart by any stretch of the word.

From here:

Chrysler Crossfire (2004–08)

2007 Chrysler Crossfire
What do you get when you combine a bunch of rehashed, last-generation Mercedes-Benz chassis components with overwrought styling and a bit of D-town pride? This bright-eyed hunk of weirdness, that’s what.

The Crossfire fell victim to that most heinous of sporty-car sins: It did nothing uniquely. Its chassis was borrowed from the 1997-to-2004 Mercedes-Benz SLK, and like the SLK, the Crossfire was a decent, if not brilliant, sporting GT. Potential buyers were put off by the art-deco looks and the $35,000-plus buy-in, and many simply bought an SLK instead. Or an Infiniti G35 or a BMW 3-Series, both of which were more fun to drive than the Crossfire, and neither of which looked like a dog in the middle of a life-altering dump. (Incidentally, whose bright idea was it to name a car after multidirectional gunfire, anyway? In what world do you want a car whose name implies that it might go off in any direction at any moment, killing innocent bystanders?)

How’s this for flop: In the second year of Crossfire production, Chrysler actually resorted to dumping excess inventory on Overstock.com. Flop, flop, flopperoo.

Beautiful Writing

Who says sushi isn't for breakfast....

That's eggs, bacon and hashbrowns in a sushi roll. Thanks to

ya think...

Those crazy European union bosses. Love the last sentence.

Why I can't find a date....

Motivational Poster

more swine flu....