Iranian Nukes

It seems that Tehran is having a rodent problem. They are sending out snipers to kill the little guys who turn out to be not so little ranging in size up to 10 pounds. That's not a rat that a Nutria. I think Iran needs to add a little more shielding to their nuclear sites as some of radioactive materials seem to be getting out.

Happy Sequester Day..

Finally a day to celebrate all that is Sea Quest.....what....what do you mean it not the day to celebrate the great television show Sea Quest.

Damnit....

Well, in that case I hope you got all your friends and family a Sequester Day card or gift. Of course you have to pay cash for the cards or gifts as you cannot use a credit card because that would ruin the whole purpose of Sequester Day now wouldn't it.

The Virgin Mary fired for getting pregnant....

I know the Christian church did not exist at that time, but if the Virgin Mary had been working at the Christian School in this article she would have been fired even though she did not have sex because no one would have believed that it was an immaculate conception. Now I'm not taking this ladies side as she did sign a contract and she should be held accountable for her actions but I just think its funny that if they applied this policy across the board they would have fired the mother of the savior. I do think though that she has a case in that they offered her boy friend / fiance' the job having known full well that he engaged in pre-marital sex because he got her pregnant.

Best comments on the article:

"Maybe she should have agreed she was pregnant but said the church couldn't prove it was due to premarital sex--I mean the Christian Church is based on the entire concept of immaculate conception, so they can't exactly insist it's impossible, now can they?"

"She should have claimed it was an immaculate conception -- no premarital sex. That apparently worked out well for some chick a long time ago... and they totally bought it."

iGlasses - Seroiuos Competition for Google Glass Project!

Godfather's Childhood

Consig's Job?!?!?

New Software Product Icon

The Consig works for a software product company. There was a disagreement with a product icon image and the Consig changed an Active Directory - sales employee image to poke fun at the issue. This was the image recommended for the Consig (from our Sales VP) after my AD change :-) #GeekHumor

Paleo w/Alcohol

I'm reading a book right now on the Paleo diet and while I haven't gotten too far into it yet it is my understanding that the diet is mainly meats, veggies and fruit like the caveman would have eaten. With my gastric bypass stomach that is all that I can ingest for the most part. I can eat some whole grains but my stomach doesn't really like them and regular white flour is completely out of the question due to the nasty effects of on my intestines. And now I come across this little tidbit that the caveman/apes might have had a little fermented fruit in their diet which of course is alcohol. I am able to drink alcohol and it gets me drunk pretty quickly due it dumping right into my bloodstream. I've made jokes that I eat Paleo w/alcohol but maybe I don't have to qualify it anymore as the caveman/apes did their own bit of drinking.

On Gastric Bypass Gas...

Here is an actual text message between the Godfather and the Consigliere this morning.


Consigliere: I have a new sympathy for stranded cruise ship passengers and smells they encountered.

Godfather: I sprayed the bathroom downstairs after my shit this morning.

Consigliere: Well your smell kicks ass on Febreze. You should be proud.


One of the effects of Gastric Bypass surgery is that food goes through the intestines in an undigested state. The resulting gas and bowel movements can peel the paint off walls, cause carbon monoxide alarms to sound and if kittys are too close they can succumb to the odor and fall off the bed in a state of asphyxiation.

Breakfast of Champions and The Godfather

Why the Consigliere should not take work calls at home

Why the Consigliere should not take work calls at home....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7Z3ZA7Pluw
Yesterday morning at the house the Consigliere took a work call and while he was on the call I was screaming at the top of my lungs from the other room "THAT'S A BAD KITTY" over and over. I'm sure his office is now wondering about their selection of him as an employee, it also freaked out the cat pretty bad as he thought I was screaming at him. He was scurrying all over the room looking for cover. Of course being the asshole that he is, the cat I mean, not the Consigliere, of course the Consigliere does has his moments, but I digress, Tigger deserved it, maybe it'll teach him to not attack my feet when I get out of bed.

Update: seems the Consigliere had the phone on mute the whole time as he was just listening to the conversation during my "THAT'S A BAD KITTY" tirade and only had to speak after I was through. I have no regrets though, kitty still deserved it.

Sometimes this is how I think I would feel...

.....if the multiple jobs I'm doing were to end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gMsa_CBZ3Os
It's from Waterworld. If you've never seen the movie this poor bastard is in the hull of the Exxon Valdez and his job is to measure how much oil remains for the eventual use by Dennis Hopper and his crew known as the "Smokers". He never sees the light of day and is grateful for the spit of Dennis Hopper in one of the films scenes. His existence is floating in a little row boat on top of the oil in the hull of a super tanker with no chance of ever getting out. With this knowledge you can now understand his relief, through the sweet release of death, that he feels in this scene.

....and then depression set in.

The consigliere is inconsolable right now and for once he has a good reason. His beloved Maker's Mark is reducing the alcohol in his favorite spirit. Please say a prayer for the consigliere to get over this tragic and traumatic time in his life. That is all.

Quote, Unquote

“What is truth anyways? Truthiness? Propaganda? Lies? Etc. Frankly, I would be happier with about 50 IQ points fewer and a burgeoning case of alcoholism. I suppose a trust fund would be nice too.”

“So I wonder if conservatives would get mad if Obama put Ronald Reagan’s portrait on the $1 Trillion Dollar coin?”

“I reject your reality and substitute my own!”

“It is my utmost belief that ALL humans should be allowed to suffer equally :)”

So God made a banker.....

A clever play on the Super Bowl ad with Paul Harvey and farmers...
Go read it for yourself

Sterotypes sometimes write themselves...

A community in Japan is not liking a new staute that has been erected in their prefecture.

Go read the story

I know there is a short dick asian joke in here somewhere.

Republicans Playing a Crafty Game?

What if the Republican's parties move to the extreme right is actually a calculated move to make the Democrats move further from the left and more to the right? Sneaky Sneaky http://www.thefiscaltimes.com/Columns/2012/12/21/How-Democrats-Became-Liberal-Republicans.aspx#page1

Ugly Sweater Gift From Makers Mark

This was my Makers Mark gift from last year. Intended for a whiskey bottle, but who knew it would make a hideous Christmas Jumper!

Lady Gaga Counseling before concerts

Lady Gaga has anounced that she will offer mental health counseling to her fans before her concerts. I think that going to a Lady Gaga concert is the prerequiste for counseling anyways isn't it? Good for her to see that her minions need counseling.

Dueling Daycares

Just up the street from my house there are two daycares and one has won an award and they have a big sign up facing the other daycare that they have won this award. It's kinda funny.