Wait for it.......

Laughed my ass off at this one..........watch to the end.

Indian women are easy......

Read in the paper today that there is a new campaign in India that if you want a wife you have to have a toilet installed in your house first or she won't marry you, it goes something like "No Loo, No I Do". I should be rolling in Indian women with the three...yes three toilets in my house, OK so one is on the fritz right now but I've got the parts and hopefully it'll be fixed tonite.

Wetback Night Football...

I got home from work yesterday and turned on the NFL game and the TV was talking to me in a foreign language....like Spanish. I thought that maybe I had tuned into Telemundo or something but then they started back with English and said it was something to do with getting the Hispanic audience involved with football. The one commercial I didn't see during the game was a number for the English challenged to call to learn to speak English, I don't even think I saw a single Rosetta Stone commercial. If you live in America learn to speak the language, that being ENGLISH!!!!

The search goes on....

Didn't get the car, sold before I had a chance to inspect it. I've been watching the market for close to 5 years now so another will present itself in the next 6 months or so. I'll probably need to move quicker this time though. until then I'll keep dreaming of the wind blowing through my hair with the targa top off.....

Internet Addiction

This is the first line of this article ,you don't have to read it unless you want to.

Last Friday I walked into the most recent inpatient Internet addiction treatment center to open in the United States and asked a really dumb question. "Do you have Wi-Fi here?"

That's funny......

Changing Stations

I've always listened to 106.7 KBPI on my morning and evening commute but recently I've switched over to 850 KOA because they have much better traffic reports and I've gotten into way too many backups lately on the freeways. I think it has something to do with the recession coming to an end and all those unemployed people making their way back to work and onto the freeways/streets, but since they are out of practice, their driving skills are a little rusty. So anyway, on 850 KOA they have a little snippet of Rush Limbaugh every morning at around 7 AM. The one this morning was him ranting about nutrition labeling on McDonald's packaging and how its a liberal boondoggle that has actually caused people to eat more unhealthy even though people think they are eating healthier now that they know what's in their food. I was thinking to myself, I don't think Rush should be railing against this liberal plot as he calls it, as he ain't the healthiest individual, he's a tad lardy. I'm no spring chicken myself but I'm not the one making a stink about it. It would be the same if he spoke vitriolically about the liberal agenda of making drugs legal, mm-kay.

Filed under "Need better binoculars"

Somali pirates attacked the wrong ship this time as it was the French Navy flagship. Granted the ship does look somewhat like a freighter and it was nighttime, but then again maybe they thought that since it was French they would just surrender.

Plans are moving forward on the vehicle purchase. The owner though is either very busy or an idiot. I won't be able to tell until I actually meet him but his replies to my emails are cryptic at best and he does his damnedest to not answer my questions, you know what, maybe I'm dealing with a politician.

...they end up owning you

I've never seen "Fight Club" but I like this article and am now thinking about renting the movie.

The article writer makes some good points about sound financial decisions. I've tried to be conservative with money, I've been in credit card debt without a penny to my name and having to go without food for a few days until the paycheck came in and I've worked my way out of this debt by going on a cash only budget and acquiring only the basic necessities for life, case in point I had never bought a couch until just this past year, I've had a few couches but they were all hand me downs or curb finds. I think that moment many years ago when I could not afford food was the financial turning point in my life, I think it's made me a better person who can see that life in not about what you own it's about how you live it and how you touch the people you meet along the way.

Of course with that being said, I can't get this Porsche out of mind. It's the right price with the all the right goodies that I've been admiring from afar for the past 25+ years since I first saw one, I drew one in my drafting class in high school, the owner of a restaurant company I worked for had one that was very similar except it wasn't a Targa. I've always been drawn to this model and I have the money to buy it, but I've always tried to be responsible with my money and I'm having a hard time overcoming my spendthrift mentality. But man do I like this car, do I need it....NO.....do I want it.....YES!!!!

I've got to make a decision......

Healthcare

I watched the speech by the president last evening on Health Care and thought he did a pretty good job at addressing the issue. I've heard from some of the fox news drones in my office that if the government gets into health care then private insurance will fold up its tent, my response back is are you kidding me? These insurance companies aren't going to give up this cash cow they have, they won't just walk away from billions in profits. They'll bitch and moan but in the end they'll still be there making a little less money which translates to lower premiums for all. I've been involved in health care coverage decisions in my last three companies I've worked for and I've seen how over the past 15 years the price of health insurance has increased by anywhere from 10% to 20% per year, yes PER YEAR, do the math and health care premiums have more than tripled during the past 15 years. Most employees have no idea how much their insurance costs because their employer has been absorbing most of the cost. People wonder why they can't seem to achieve the American Dream anymore, ITS HEALTH CARE! Your employer can't give you a raise because the health care premiums, are your raise. If we can rein in the insurance company profits, hospital profits and doctor profits maybe the rest of us can get back to realizing the American Dream once again.

On a lighter note check out this Onion article on health care.

The Great Socialist Speech on Tuesday...

I asked two of my conservative co-workers with children if they were going to keep their kids out of school on Tuesday and both said they were. My guess is neither one of these co-workers has participated in any school activities beyond "back to school night" and thusly have no idea what their kids are being taught on a daily basis. I find it amusing, to say they least, when people have such adamant views about things and that they are unwilling to even listen to other points of view. I feel sorry for their kids that they don't get to make up their own minds after hearing from the various differing points of view, and that's saying that the Obama speech will even have any political messages which my best guess is that it won't.

I'm thinking I should send out an email to the office to tell them we will be having a viewing party of the speech in the conference room on Tuesday just to see the reactions, but alas I like my job and don't want to lose it over a joke, our division VP is ultaconservative, big Limbaugh fan.

I'm sure you have heard about the altercation in CA with the guy getting his finger bitten off. The best comment I read to one of the articles was "Don't TASTE me bro", I thought that was funny as hell, that and the ironic fact that the protester against government health care used Medicare, a government health care program, to have his finger mended. From what I've read it sounds like the guy that lost his finger got was coming to him after he accosted another protester and then twice punch the guy who bit off his finger who was trying to stand up for the other protester who was intimidated. Verbal sparring is just that, verbal ,once you throw a punch any reaction from the punched person is self defense in my book, including kicking you in your nuts, gouging out an eye or biting off an appendage, whatever stops you from getting beat up works. Oh and as far as missing finger guy being a senior citizen, he may be 65 but on the clip I saw of him being interviewed he doesn't look the least bit frail, he kinda reminded me a little of Clint Eastwood.

Scenes from my life....

Seen while grocery shopping at King Soopers....
A pregant woman who had a large cucumber tucked between her ample breasts and cradling it like a baby. My thought at the time was that if she had the large cucumber several month earlier she would have alleviated herself of her present condition.

Seen at Einstein's Bagels...
a Nissan "CUBE", probably the ugliest car I've seen in a long time(to get the full ugliness click on the "Load 360" button under the car). My thought at the time was that there was probably nothing left on the lot at the end of the "Cash for Clunkers" program.

I have no children.....

....but I'm beginning to feel like a parent as I now have in my house 1 "kid" starting her second year of college and another "kid" who's living with me whose unemployed, and I'm footing most of the bills. Oh and I can't forget the other "kid" who isn't living with me but who I've given a car loan too.

At least I didn't have to wipe any of their asses.

Creative Resume Writing....

According to a commentor on this:

Someone actually put this on their resume:

10 years of Import, Distribution and Merchandising of recreational pharmaceuticals.
15 years with FCI as a machinist, cook, librarian and janitor.

and by the way....FCI=Federal correctional institution.

I guess you can make any job sound better, kinda like saying your a sanitation engineer when you drive a garbage truck.

I wonder if he got the job.

How did he get past the terrorist watch list?

Convicted airplane bomber allowed to fly home. I got pulled aside in Orlando and they let this guy on a plane, what's wrong with this picture. They should have put him on a slow boat to Libya. And what's this compassionate release because he's dying, let him die in prison, what if the diagnosis is wrong and he lives another 20 years.

Is this wrong....

Would the dog rip it to shreds?

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Notes on Vegas

Are Vegas roads ever going to be without construction? I know how to get around Vegas from countless trips to Sin City but this trip I was stymied by all the back roads around the Strip being torn up and down to one lane as well as the Strip itself being torn up especially around City Center and don't get me started on I-15, crikey!

Vegas in August is too damn HOT! On a previous trip around July 4th several years ago I told myself I should never visit during the summer again, well I was right. The last summer trip my truck broke down in the turn lane from eastbound Tropicana Blvd to southbound Las Vegas Blvd, bad place to breakdown as it's a very busy intersection, luckily the Cobalt had no such issues, of course it's 14 years newer and has 200,000 less miles on the clock.

Lazy Rivers are very enjoyable. My timeshare condo on the southern end of Las Vegas Blvd has a lazy river that my brother and I enjoyed, my brother maybe a little too much as he pulled every unused tube into the lazy river and claimed that they were his invisible friends. I pointed out his nemesis in another guest that was removing the tubes as they floated around. Only later did my brother realize he had actually helped the lifeguards as they just scooped up the tubes from the river instead of having to walk around and pick them up at the end of the day.

My brother can't party like he use too. Poor bastard missed the Vegas nighttime scene when the freaks really come out.

Wasn't a good trip for the wallet this time. The gambling this trip left a lot to be desired as I lost money and ran into some really messed up individuals. One guy who had his own problems being in a family of Trekkie's but not actually being a Trekkie fan and also being from Canada didn't like me hitting on 12 on the dealer up card of 2 or 3, and then complaining about a player leaving in the middle of a shoe, then telling another new player to not sit down until the end of the shoe to which I replied, "What is this your private table?" and then to another guy who tells me that the card I use which is the universally accepted way to play Blackjack is wrong. I got plenty of opportunities to double down and split which is when you can make back your bankroll but I couldn't get the cards I needed. I have also never seem so many dealers hit 21 when the first two cards should be sure bust cards for them. Like for instance I get dealt two face cards and the dealer has an up card of 6 and I'm thinking this looks promising and then the dealer's down card is a face card and I'm at that point thinking I've won and then a 5 comes out of the shoe, dammit! Well I can't always have winning vacations.

Silver Hairs, Silver Hairs(sung to Silver Bells)......

I've always liked Jay Leno's monologues on the "Tonite Show" and while in Vegas I went to see his stand-up act. From the opening act of an a cappella quartet of doo-wop singers I knew I wasn't the target audience. I thought there would be more current event jokes but in talking with my brother after the show, Jay Leno probably doesn't have the breadth of writers, if any, he had at the "Tonite Show". He did have a few current event jokes and a part where he asked the audience their professions and made jokes about them on the fly including one particularly funny one about a financial advisor and and unemployed friend in the audience, but then he started into what seemed very dated material. It was an entertaining show but I'm glad I got tickets for 25% off the retail price.

Top Shelf Liquor Only Please......

While in Vegas recently I visited a liquor store and as my brother checked out I looked at the pictures of the people they had caught stealing and was kinda shocked that quite a few weren't for shoplifting but for peeing in the store. On future trips I'll only be buying top shelf liquor, geospatially speaking, from this establishment.