Here I am stuck in the middle of a SOX audit.
I work for a company that falls under Sarbanes Oxley and our audit is coming up and as the controller I have to get all our ducks in a row. The estimators have completely screwed up the bid log and 3 of the 5 items the auditor wants to see don't match up mathematically. The bid log has one number ,the bid sheet has another. How f'ing difficult is it to put the right numbers down. My accounting clerk is in charge of sending out the SOX reports for the PM's to sign and the one PM that I warned her about has once again dropped the ball. I can't stand this, its a good thing she's getting fired next Friday, I can't do this again with her. Her package she gave me was missing items and out of order. How difficult is it to follow a list and put them in the order on the list and let me know what's missing, does she think I'm not going to check everything before I hand it off. Just had to get that off my chest, I feel better now.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
For the love of....answer the question!!!!!
Actual Email Exchange between myself (ME) and the Payroll Manager (PR MGR) concerning a W-4 I submitted for our Chief Estimator(CE):
ME: Attached is CE's W-4.
PR MGR: He is claiming 25 and our limit in our system is 10. If I put in 25 then it will default to 0 exemptions.
ME: How did his paycheck go through for PR weekending 05/10/2009?(I had sent in the W-4 prior to the last payroll with the 25 exemptions on it) It took out the right amount of taxes. Does 10 exemptions create no tax liability and then only the amount in Line 6 will be taken out for taxes?
PR MGR: He wanted a set amount deducted so we put that into the system to deduct.
ME: So is his W-4 OK then with 25 or do we need to do one with 10 on it? CE wants to keep the taxes the same as the last paycheck for the rest of the year. If by putting 10 exemptions on the W-4 accomplishes that then we’ll do it but if it withholds more in fed and state taxes then we have a problem changing his W-4.
PR MGR: It is currently set up to ignore the tax tables and take the dollar amount that he indicated for state and federal taxes.
Do you see a pattern here? anyone anyone...
She would not answer my questions so I gave up and I'm not sending another W-4 for the CE until she answers my questions. This lady is not smart by any stretch of the word.
ME: Attached is CE's W-4.
PR MGR: He is claiming 25 and our limit in our system is 10. If I put in 25 then it will default to 0 exemptions.
ME: How did his paycheck go through for PR weekending 05/10/2009?(I had sent in the W-4 prior to the last payroll with the 25 exemptions on it) It took out the right amount of taxes. Does 10 exemptions create no tax liability and then only the amount in Line 6 will be taken out for taxes?
PR MGR: He wanted a set amount deducted so we put that into the system to deduct.
ME: So is his W-4 OK then with 25 or do we need to do one with 10 on it? CE wants to keep the taxes the same as the last paycheck for the rest of the year. If by putting 10 exemptions on the W-4 accomplishes that then we’ll do it but if it withholds more in fed and state taxes then we have a problem changing his W-4.
PR MGR: It is currently set up to ignore the tax tables and take the dollar amount that he indicated for state and federal taxes.
Do you see a pattern here? anyone anyone...
She would not answer my questions so I gave up and I'm not sending another W-4 for the CE until she answers my questions. This lady is not smart by any stretch of the word.
From here:
Chrysler Crossfire (2004–08)
2007 Chrysler Crossfire
What do you get when you combine a bunch of rehashed, last-generation Mercedes-Benz chassis components with overwrought styling and a bit of D-town pride? This bright-eyed hunk of weirdness, that’s what.
The Crossfire fell victim to that most heinous of sporty-car sins: It did nothing uniquely. Its chassis was borrowed from the 1997-to-2004 Mercedes-Benz SLK, and like the SLK, the Crossfire was a decent, if not brilliant, sporting GT. Potential buyers were put off by the art-deco looks and the $35,000-plus buy-in, and many simply bought an SLK instead. Or an Infiniti G35 or a BMW 3-Series, both of which were more fun to drive than the Crossfire, and neither of which looked like a dog in the middle of a life-altering dump. (Incidentally, whose bright idea was it to name a car after multidirectional gunfire, anyway? In what world do you want a car whose name implies that it might go off in any direction at any moment, killing innocent bystanders?)
How’s this for flop: In the second year of Crossfire production, Chrysler actually resorted to dumping excess inventory on Overstock.com. Flop, flop, flopperoo.
Beautiful Writing
Chrysler Crossfire (2004–08)
2007 Chrysler Crossfire
What do you get when you combine a bunch of rehashed, last-generation Mercedes-Benz chassis components with overwrought styling and a bit of D-town pride? This bright-eyed hunk of weirdness, that’s what.
The Crossfire fell victim to that most heinous of sporty-car sins: It did nothing uniquely. Its chassis was borrowed from the 1997-to-2004 Mercedes-Benz SLK, and like the SLK, the Crossfire was a decent, if not brilliant, sporting GT. Potential buyers were put off by the art-deco looks and the $35,000-plus buy-in, and many simply bought an SLK instead. Or an Infiniti G35 or a BMW 3-Series, both of which were more fun to drive than the Crossfire, and neither of which looked like a dog in the middle of a life-altering dump. (Incidentally, whose bright idea was it to name a car after multidirectional gunfire, anyway? In what world do you want a car whose name implies that it might go off in any direction at any moment, killing innocent bystanders?)
How’s this for flop: In the second year of Crossfire production, Chrysler actually resorted to dumping excess inventory on Overstock.com. Flop, flop, flopperoo.
Beautiful Writing
Monday, May 11, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
5/7/9
Happy odd day!!! 05/07/2009 5/7/9. It only happens 6 times in the beginning of the century 01/03/2005 1/3/5, 03/05/2007 3/5/7, 05/07/2009 5/7/9, 07/09/2011 7/9/11, 09/11/2013 9/11/13, 11/13/2015 11/13/15.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Past on by a Republican co-worker....
IT WAS ONCE SAID THAT A BLACK MAN WOULD BE PRESIDENT "WHEN PIGS FLY"…INDEED 100 DAYS INTO OBAMA'S PRESIDENCY….SWINE FLU
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
"You know, we may have overpriced tickets"
Yankees and Mets are classic! Attendance this season is about average for those MLB clubs (avg over 30K/game), but you would never know it watching them on TV. The lower deck seats close to the field are half empty. Seats in those sections go for $500-2500. Maybe someone needs to inform management of the current economic conditions.
If MLB wanted to curb its slide into oblivion, maybe those big market teams should consider cardboard cutout fans or maybe seat filler people like they use on the Oscars....
If MLB wanted to curb its slide into oblivion, maybe those big market teams should consider cardboard cutout fans or maybe seat filler people like they use on the Oscars....
Swine Flu Masks
OK, who will be the first to sell these masks with a pig snout image printed on them?
On the subject.....We had our first Swine Flu death this morning. That's unfortunate, but we have over 36,000 flu related deaths every year anyway. What am I missing? Is the news cycle that slow right now? Hey media, how about a little perspective.....
On the subject.....We had our first Swine Flu death this morning. That's unfortunate, but we have over 36,000 flu related deaths every year anyway. What am I missing? Is the news cycle that slow right now? Hey media, how about a little perspective.....
TARP Fund Lobbiests
Just a few months after TARP funds were distributed and already over $10 million of those funds have been spent on lobbyists to represent the banks and auto manufactures who received the money. Take a wild guess at what they are lobbying for.....you got it, more TARP funds and no wage/bonus restrictions.
Here is an idea......No lobbying until you repay the loaned money.
In case I was no clear on this point....Hey TARP recipient lobbyists, don't talk to my senators or congressman!!! They obviously don't have the stones to say no or understand the conflict of interest here.
Here is an idea......No lobbying until you repay the loaned money.
In case I was no clear on this point....Hey TARP recipient lobbyists, don't talk to my senators or congressman!!! They obviously don't have the stones to say no or understand the conflict of interest here.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
The Texas Governor.....
Jokingly threatens secession last week at one of those moronic Tea Parties.
In an unrelated story the same day, Gov Perry requested federal assistance with the Swine Flu.
In an unrelated story the same day, Gov Perry requested federal assistance with the Swine Flu.
Friday, April 24, 2009
I'll stick with the soup kitchens...
I hope it never comes to this in my household, but then again I have been feeding a squirrel in the backyard.
Stop the insanity....
This recession has got so bad that the animals at the Bronx Zoo are getting pink slips.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Whoops....
A sterile guy in germany hires his neighbor to impregnate is wife. After 72 tries they make the neighbor go to the doctor only to find out he's sterile too and then the neighbors wife has to admit that the two children they had together aren't actually his. This stuff is just to funny.
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