Friday, January 19, 2018

Headaches

Thanks to Woodsterman

http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2018/01/headaches_17.html

Joe had suffered from bad headaches for the past 20 years and eventually decided to go and see a doctor about it.

The doctor said: “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.”

Joe was shocked and became depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought: ‘That’s what I need, a new suit.’ He entered the shop and asked the salesman to tailor a new suit.

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let's see ... size 44 long.”

Joe laughed, “That's right, how did you know?”

“Been in the business 60 years,” the tailor replied.

Joe tried on the suit and it fitted perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?”

Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.”

The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let's see, 96cm chest and 42cm neck.”

Joe was surprised, “That's right, how did you know?”

“Been in the business 60 years,” he replied.

Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?”

Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.”

The salesman said, “Let's see... size 36.”

Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.”

The salesman shook his head, “You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Monday, January 15, 2018

Car flies into dentist office







































Funny Tweets

That dentist office now has a cavity.

They were on drugs, how high were they?
A: About 14 feet

Hey buddy! the drive thru's downstairs

Was he late for an appointment

His in car navigation system was spot on if he was heading to the dentist office

Car technology: Protecting people making stupid decisions daily

Call the dentist, it's time for an extraction

Most people aren't in that much of a hurry to get to the dentist

Well people do go to the dentist when they have a messed up grille

That is going to be a difficult extraction

We have liftoff

Great News! Flying cars are here!


Thursday, December 21, 2017

Raises All Around

Once Trump signs the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act I'm requesting a raise immediately. I'll let you know how that turns out. Who's with me?

Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Gears grind to a halt when your very beliefs are proven incorrect.

https://twitter.com/TheLeadCNN/status/940704581742419969

In defending Roy Moore's view that Muslims cannot be elected officials because they cannot swear on a bible.

Watch the video

Read the comments

...he sounds like he hit his head on something very hard

His cornbread ain't done in the middle

Don't give him too much credit, he thinks the only colors are white and wrong

He short circuited......did not compute

He broke his tiny brain

You can actually see when the squirrel stopped in his head

Good grief. If he was any less intelligent, he'd need watering



Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Republican Jesus


Tweet of God

Not as close as you, Margie. See you Thursday!

Monday, December 11, 2017

Hollywood Hills - House Party - Political Activist


Alabama Voters

The weather in Alabama next week will favor Moore because it’s supposed to dip into the teens.

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Why didn't I think of that?

Cashier: Use self-checkout. : Oh ok, I’m gonna need the employee discount code. Cashier: Why? Are you an employee? : Apparently I am now.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Good Kansas City BBQ?

It must have been some bad gas to cause a police officer to stop the interrogation.

 http://www.kansascity.com/news/local/crime/article183176961.html

Maybe it was the beans with the BBQ.