They had to shut down the cash for clunkers stimulus program because it actually worked and they ran out of money. I wonder if the billions we pumped into the car industry will now get paid back because they were able to sell so many cars. Probably not.
I guess the beer party went OK at the Whitehouse except for the brief exchange at the beginning when the cop wanted to see Obama's license to prove that he lived there.
Moving of my girlfriend is almost done, I've never had to move so much crap. How can one person acquire so much and never think about getting rid of some of it at sometime. Everything I own is displayed in my house or is in a 6' x 10' space in the basement, and it ain't much, hell my brother more than doubled my wall art when he moved in . Can you say rampant consumerism, I just figured out that she is what's wrong with America, crap.
Vegas awaits.........
Friday, July 31, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Don't give your lady a strap on....
This is why you don't give a women a large penis shaped object. The first thing she does is try to stick it in your backdoor.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Trippin' in Florida
I hate the heat and humidity of Florida. I left there 16 years ago to the more suitable climate of Colorado. But, I was summoned back to attend the wedding of friend who use to live in Colorado but decided to move to Florida(what was she thinking?) So I went to Florida at the beginning of July. Did I mention I hate the heat and humidity of Florida?
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as a Jew in Nazi Germany.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as Nelson Mandela during Apartheid.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as a Shiite under Saddam Hussein rule.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as a negro during slavery.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as the Dali Lama under Chinese rule.
The trip starts off with a visit to DIA for a plane ride to Orlando. My Bi-Pap machine for my sleep apnea sets off the bomb alarm when they swabbed it, I have no idea what was on the machine since I keep my C4 in the basement not in my bedroom. We board the plane and after sitting for a half an hour we are finally informed that the problem with take off is that a brake temp sensor on one of the wheels has failed and the FAA requires them to wait two hours before we can takeoff to make sure the brakes have cooled sufficiently. I really think they were looking into my background to make sure I wasn't a terrorist. We can't disembark because we are already in the plane and they need the gate for another arriving plane. So begins the journey.
Everyday had an odd incident:
Friday: Bomb detector set off, wheel brake heat sensor failed
Saturday: Friend never makes it to fireworks show that he suggested we go to, turns out he was drunk at a beach bar. Parking which he said would be plentiful was not.
Sunday: Everything we do takes an extra hour and our lunch companion eats before we meet him for lunch(WTF). We go to the Seminole Casino in Tampa and my girlfriend gets a voucher from the nickel slots for 3 cents, its a nickel slot how can it pay out three cents. I win $660 at blackjack so my day was pretty good.
Monday: Closing up parents condo and can't get a hold of Dad because he is out on a pontoon boat in Lake Michigan, electric panel is mismarked, thermostat in the hotel in Orlando is wired wrong so when you turn the temp up the make the room warmer it makes it colder, the Catfish Place, our choice for dinner is closed on Sunday and Monday.
Tuesday: After a late start we get taken on a trip across Orlando in the middle of rush hour after the bride misses her normal turn which takes like four hours to see the bride's college.
Wednesday: The bride shows up an hour and half late for her own wedding. Went to Daytona Beach after the wedding and my girlfriend tried to pee at Wendy's but both stalls were full and there was a bad stench and then she heard one of the ladies saying she was peeing all over the seat and her bathing suit, she left without peeing. The wedding gift card was left at the hotel when my girlfriend picked up the wrong bag when we left for the reception that evening.
Thursday: Only after we arrived at the airport late did I realize that the hotel clock was a half hour slow. I was flagged at check in as a terrorist, maybe it was the bomb swab at DIA, which slowed our already lateness and we made it to the plane just as they were calling for our section to board. As we prepare to sit down the guy across the aisle starts swinging at me and uttering something guttural sounding. I told him it wasn't time for my daily beating yet but if I got out of line he should take care of me. The guy thanked me for having a sense of humor about his condition which I think might be close to palsy with a touch of Turrets syndrome. Later when the beverage cart came down he ordered coffee and I'm thinking to myself this isn't going to end well. The guy behind my girlfriend was a large man and he proceeded to rest over the top of my girlfriend's seat for most of the flight. The seat in front of my girlfriend decided to fall apart mid flight and cut her foot.
This was a messed up trip. Next trip will be to Vegas with my brother, hopefully that goes better.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as a Jew in Nazi Germany.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as Nelson Mandela during Apartheid.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as a Shiite under Saddam Hussein rule.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as a negro during slavery.
The heat and humidity of Florida is so oppressive, I felt as oppressed as the Dali Lama under Chinese rule.
The trip starts off with a visit to DIA for a plane ride to Orlando. My Bi-Pap machine for my sleep apnea sets off the bomb alarm when they swabbed it, I have no idea what was on the machine since I keep my C4 in the basement not in my bedroom. We board the plane and after sitting for a half an hour we are finally informed that the problem with take off is that a brake temp sensor on one of the wheels has failed and the FAA requires them to wait two hours before we can takeoff to make sure the brakes have cooled sufficiently. I really think they were looking into my background to make sure I wasn't a terrorist. We can't disembark because we are already in the plane and they need the gate for another arriving plane. So begins the journey.
Everyday had an odd incident:
Friday: Bomb detector set off, wheel brake heat sensor failed
Saturday: Friend never makes it to fireworks show that he suggested we go to, turns out he was drunk at a beach bar. Parking which he said would be plentiful was not.
Sunday: Everything we do takes an extra hour and our lunch companion eats before we meet him for lunch(WTF). We go to the Seminole Casino in Tampa and my girlfriend gets a voucher from the nickel slots for 3 cents, its a nickel slot how can it pay out three cents. I win $660 at blackjack so my day was pretty good.
Monday: Closing up parents condo and can't get a hold of Dad because he is out on a pontoon boat in Lake Michigan, electric panel is mismarked, thermostat in the hotel in Orlando is wired wrong so when you turn the temp up the make the room warmer it makes it colder, the Catfish Place, our choice for dinner is closed on Sunday and Monday.
Tuesday: After a late start we get taken on a trip across Orlando in the middle of rush hour after the bride misses her normal turn which takes like four hours to see the bride's college.
Wednesday: The bride shows up an hour and half late for her own wedding. Went to Daytona Beach after the wedding and my girlfriend tried to pee at Wendy's but both stalls were full and there was a bad stench and then she heard one of the ladies saying she was peeing all over the seat and her bathing suit, she left without peeing. The wedding gift card was left at the hotel when my girlfriend picked up the wrong bag when we left for the reception that evening.
Thursday: Only after we arrived at the airport late did I realize that the hotel clock was a half hour slow. I was flagged at check in as a terrorist, maybe it was the bomb swab at DIA, which slowed our already lateness and we made it to the plane just as they were calling for our section to board. As we prepare to sit down the guy across the aisle starts swinging at me and uttering something guttural sounding. I told him it wasn't time for my daily beating yet but if I got out of line he should take care of me. The guy thanked me for having a sense of humor about his condition which I think might be close to palsy with a touch of Turrets syndrome. Later when the beverage cart came down he ordered coffee and I'm thinking to myself this isn't going to end well. The guy behind my girlfriend was a large man and he proceeded to rest over the top of my girlfriend's seat for most of the flight. The seat in front of my girlfriend decided to fall apart mid flight and cut her foot.
This was a messed up trip. Next trip will be to Vegas with my brother, hopefully that goes better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)