Superbowl Commercial Previews

This year those commercials will include one of my favorite movies and sitcoms.....
These are greatness!

Photo Radar...The Funny Side

This is hilarious but it is a little dangerous and might be illegal.

Gordon Gekko vs Mitt Romney

Stolen from Lynnrocket's Blast-off

It's a movie for crying out loud...

The lepers have complained about the trailer so they are taking out the scene where a lepers arm falls off. Come on people its a stop action fictional film. The movie looks pretty funny.

Ghost, The New Adventures

Remember back in 1990 when Ghost came out and Patrick Swayze was able to move things in the physical world after his death. Well it's basically the same story, a man in Fond Du Lac, WI  says a ghost beat up his wife. It could happen and it was probably that damned subway ghost. Now our younger brother used to live in Fond Du Lac but no longer resides there so this individual is not our brother. Alcohol was involved, no brainer there, and he does have an ample imagination which will help him in prison as he is assaulted in the showers.

Did you know that the subway ghost was Mr. Vargas in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? I did not.

Who should you vote for....

Take the quiz and it will show you who most closely matches your views in the presidential election

Take Quiz Now

Thanks to Mr Ritholtz at The Big Picture

Mine came out with 1.) Barack Obama, 2.) Jon Huntsman(dropped out), 3.) Mitt Romney

Doug Lamborn is an Idiot

One of our Colorado Congressman, Doug Lamborn of the 5th District which includes Colorado Springs,(not my district but it looks bad for all Coloradoans) has decided to skip the State of the Union Address tonight because he does not agree with the President's policies. This is everything that is wrong with politics right now. There is no civility, no respect for others. There once was a time when politician worked together to make the country better. They would work deals where everybody got a little, no one got everything but they were working toward a collective better future. The politicians are acting like spoiled children today, throwing a tantrum when they don't get their way. It time for a spanking if you ask me, this crap has got to stop.
Doug Lamborn it's time for you to grow up and act like an adult. You were elected to govern, not to soil your diapers when don't get your way.  

Always been a fan of Star Wars...

and this is great. Good job Volkswagen.
The consigliere is giving me grief over this post but I think it's funny as hell with the big black dog with the Darth Vader chest plate, the big white dog in the back left looks like a stormtrooper, the ewok in the lower right with his hood, Chewbacca to the left of Darth Vader with the bandoleer, Princess Leia in the lower left with her cinnamon bun ears, Luke Skywalker to her right with his light saber and then the Imperial Walker at the end, its funny.

Chinese Year of the Dragon starts today....

....and oddly I'm in the mood for some take-out.

Spicy Wine

If you infused capsaicin in wine would you have a.....

Jalapinot Grigio

I'm sorry, that was just bad wasn't it.

Day 5 & 6 - Science Experiment

No significant progress & nothing new to report here, but that's what The Godfather & Consig appreciate about our roommate.......consistency.

GOP Debate Tonight

The GOP debate tonight is happening at my Alma mater, The University of South Florida. I hope the audience is a little better behaved than previous audiences who booed at a military service man who is gay, cheered the death penalty, were all for a poor person dying because he couldn't afford health care and booed a moderator while he was asking a question. Come on people let's think before you open your pie holes or do anything that exposes your bigotry. You're entitled to your opinions but on national television you just expose yourself and the GOP(all the audience members are hand picked GOP donors and volunteers) as uncaring imbeciles who only think of themselves. Don't be that guy.

Attention Godfather's Younger Brother...

The Godfather's younger brother is a Prius owner and maybe he should look into obtaining one of these fine looking camper shells for his Prius. I/m kidding bro, this has got to be the ugliest thing I've seen in a while and I recently had a endoscopy done and those pictures where better looking than this.

Endorsements..

So Gingrich has been endorsed by Sarah Palin and Rick Perry. Two of our greatest minds idiots think you should vote for Gingrich. That's the kind of ringing endorsements I want in my candidate. Good luck with that Newt. Who names their kid after a salamander anyways?

That's gonna leave a mark.....

Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich just got sucker punched by wife number two that's bound to be felt throughout the religious rights's ranks with the revelation that Newt wanted an open marriage as he was having an affair with soon to be wife number three, as if three marriage didn't already disqualify him from the religious rights's vote. I guess the religious right has only Santorum now as Perry has dropped from the race. Romney even with his stellar marriage can't overcome his Mormonism in the religious rights view. I believe Romney has this thing pretty much in the bag anyhow as he is the only candidate with a chance of defeating Obama even though I don't think he can. We really need a third party with a candidate that moderates like me could get behind. Ron Paul might run as a third party candidate but his isolationist views are troubling and his view of basically no government is ridiculous and makes him unelectable.

New Restaurant Chain....

I was going through the equipment reports for all the jobs in the company (169 pages worth) and came across a job that I thought said "Burgers & Nipples" as I zipped through the PDF file looking for our jobs, I had to go back a page or two to see if my eyes had deceived me. They had and it was actually "Burgess & Niple". I had a good laugh and then it dawned on me that would be a good name for a topless burger joint. All the burgers would come without a top bun and there would be a slice of Roma tomato and half a black olive on top of each burger patty, you could order the top bun for a penny if you wanted it.

And you were thinking it was topless women serving burgers didn't you, you sick bastard, but I like the way you think.

Reminds me of a joke.

Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"
Little Johnny: "None."
Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"
Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."
Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think."
Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"
Teacher: "Sure."
Little Johnny: "There are three women in the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"
Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny: "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

Day 1 - Science Experiment

Stay tuned to find out what our mad scientist roommate has got up her sleeve for this vegetable.....

Please Hire Me!

Help. I have way too much time on my hands!!!!!

See current resume in picture below.
Please disregard my previous resume post.

My Qualifications:
Honest (never let the facts get in the way)
Team Player (ask all my friends)
Dependable (never use same excuse twice)
Punctual (will work 9am-5pm or 9pm-5am)

I knew it!

I've long had my suspicions that the sexes were not the same species but now finally a study that proves it. As you can probably tell I'm not married and never have been, in fact my signature post at the end of all my emails is  "Married men may live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die".
Don't get wrong though, I love the ladies but I've never understood the thought processes that women have and probably never will. 

Since the last post was....

...mainly for the men in the audience here is a little sometime for the ladies, thanks to the Godfather's sister.

Look for the Ron Jeremy cameo

I'm not into fashion....

... so I've never heard of Kate Upton but wow, just wow. 

GO BRONCOS!!!!

"Holy Horseshit"
This was the exclamation proclaimed by our sister in a text after the remarkable, nay improbable win by the DENVER BRONCOS in yesterday's exciting and cold playoff game. That exclamation was heard a few times around our house from our father as we grew up and now it seems it is being carried forward by the next generation.

Christmas Bender
Tebow, as you are probably well aware, does his best to work in "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" into every other sentence during interviews along with the classic staples of "One Game At A Time" and "Giving 110%". I have no ill will against Timmy for wearing his faith on his sleeve as I also believe in God but I do so in a more subdued manner, but it does open him up for jokes about his faith.  And on to the jokes, I have an possible explanation for the Broncos recent horrible games around Christmas and the subsequent win yesterday and that is that Jesus was on a birthday bender, probably in Vegas and could not help Tebow in those games. A Jesus birthday bender and subsequent hangover is the only explanation that makes any sense on how Timmy can be so awful the last three games and then POW! he looks like John Elway. There must be some divine intervention going on. Jesus does everything big, just look at the feeding of the 5,000 for example, so his own birthday party would be epic and last for weeks and would have included Sunday Dec 18th and Saturday Dec 24 and the hangover would have lasted a week in itself and would have included Sunday January 1st. I know some of you would say that Jesus doesn't get hangovers, he's the son of God for his sake, but I say in human form Christ is not immune to liquors revenge. So there you have it, Jesus had a hell of a birthday party and that is the reason the Broncos didn't have any help until yesterday. If you have another explanation use the comments to let me know.

To the Steelers Fans in Section 234
.....and to the Steelers fans in front of us at the stadium take your yellow towels and stick them up your collective asses as you made watching the game almost impossible by constantly waving them around, hitting myself and the Consigliere a few times and then keeping me from being able to view the game as you displayed them above your head in my sight line. By the way, Bill said he had a nice large trash bag to place your Steelers pillow in that you left behind at the stadium as you quietly slipped away with your tails between your legs after all the trash talking you did, Raiders fans are more considerate.

Bronco Scripture for Playoffs this Sunday?

Matthew 7:27
"The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."
Godfather and Consigliere at the Authority:

Denver's Still's Museum Vandalized....

She looks normal enough to me. Of course I'm kidding, love the tat work on her neck and chest. The painting is also shown in the article linked to above and its an abstract piece of art. I suppose it could look like used toilet paper though if you have a little blood in your stool and that might have been the reason for her rubbing her butt against it and then urinating near it.

Stolen from Wirecutter

I don't agree politically with wirecutter but I like his writing style and I think it's good to keep up with what the far right extreme is thinking and he does have some funny stuff in his blog, even the stuff he considers serious I find laughable sometimes. It's the same reason I listen to Rush Limbaugh sometimes, it's for the entertainment value I get out of his callers and his interaction with them.

New Reality TV Show coming soon....

Now that neither has a shot at the big house in Washington

New Reality TV Show Coming Soon....

"The Almost Presidents"

starring   Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin

See which one can say the dumbest thing and actually believe it!

Men are now determined to be useless....

"Men Are Now Determined to be Useless" will read the headline once the women get a hold of this , we men are on our own as women will no longer need us.

Republican Caucus....not suitable for young minds

Possible Democratic SuperPac commercial idea:

(camera pan into two young people on a park bench drinking Starbucks coffee)
Young Person #1(YP#1) "I'm surprised the Republicans go to these caucuses"
Young Person #2(YP#2) "What do you mean?"
YP#1 "Well they are obviously against their family values platform and quite possibly homosexual in nature."
YP#2 "I'm not following you"
YP#1 "You can't get a cock and an ass that close and still be considered a Republican can you?"
YP#2 (sprays coffee out of his/her nose)
YP#1 "I mean maybe if you're are a Republican Congressman or Senator you can."
YP#2 (sprays coffee out of his/her mouth)
YP#1 "But the typical Republican voter should be appalled at the thought of attending one of these events."
YP#2 "Speaking of caucuses have you ever Googled "Santorum" and looked at the first result?"
YP#1 "I don't think I want our country to be led by something named santorum"
YP#1 & YP#2 (laughing and sipping coffee as the camera pans out)

Brought to you by the all inclusive Democratic Party.
To see how santorum could effect Santorum's campaign please see this article in Mother Jones.

We don't get many comments......

On a post the consigliere did about growing up in our household over a year ago I just noticed we got a comment and I thought I should respond. Here is the comment and my response.
2 comments:
Anonymous said...
Loved this review on walmart's web page for a blu ray player with wifiDidn't Do My Homework, Had To Return This, 12/15/2010Boo Hoo to me. I was under the impression that I would just plug this in and start streaming Netflix. As soon as I took the manual out of the box, I knew I was in trouble. Didn't read enough before I bought this. We still have dial-up here in our area. Was so looking forward to using this player. If and when we get some kind of fast internet service here, I will buy this again. No problem returning this back to my WM, they understood. I'm bummed. How am I supposed to rate this when I didn't even take it out of the box.
January 14, 2011 5:47 PM

The Godfather said...
I'm sorry your Blu-Ray player didn't work out for you. But if your comment on this blog to a review on walmart's web page tells me anything it's that you're a complete idiot.
January 3, 2012 9:22 AM

Maybe this is why we don't get comments.........

The Buccaneers Are Coming, The Buccaneers are Coming....

The Buccaneers Are Coming, The Buccaneers are Coming....

The Bucs are coming to Mile High next season, yeeeeeaaaahhhhhhh!!!!

AFC WEST
1. Denver Broncos
Home: Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, Cleveland Browns, Pittsburgh Steelers, Houston Texans, New Orleans Saints, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Away: Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, San Diego Chargers, Baltimore Ravens, Cincinnati Bengals, New England Patriots, Atlanta Falcons, Carolina Panthers

Now what jersey am I going to wear though.....?

Heard on the Radio....

A caller into 850KOA this morning said...

"The Broncos look like they are in the prevent offense"

I got a little chuckle out of it. Well the Broncos back doored into the playoffs thanks to the Chargers and will face the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday Jan 8th. I also heard on the same show that the Steelers RB might be out and Rapistberger is injured. Can the Broncos get lucky again and meet the competition when they are down like we did with so many other teams during the 6 game winning streak? Only time will tell......but I'm not holding my breath.....we're not that good.

Now I got to figure out what they eat in Pittsburgh so I can plan the tailgating menu.

TIMMY !, lamalo lamalo, timmy..... shhhhhhh....... timmy