Monday, January 9, 2012

GO BRONCOS!!!!

"Holy Horseshit"
This was the exclamation proclaimed by our sister in a text after the remarkable, nay improbable win by the DENVER BRONCOS in yesterday's exciting and cold playoff game. That exclamation was heard a few times around our house from our father as we grew up and now it seems it is being carried forward by the next generation.

Christmas Bender
Tebow, as you are probably well aware, does his best to work in "My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" into every other sentence during interviews along with the classic staples of "One Game At A Time" and "Giving 110%". I have no ill will against Timmy for wearing his faith on his sleeve as I also believe in God but I do so in a more subdued manner, but it does open him up for jokes about his faith.  And on to the jokes, I have an possible explanation for the Broncos recent horrible games around Christmas and the subsequent win yesterday and that is that Jesus was on a birthday bender, probably in Vegas and could not help Tebow in those games. A Jesus birthday bender and subsequent hangover is the only explanation that makes any sense on how Timmy can be so awful the last three games and then POW! he looks like John Elway. There must be some divine intervention going on. Jesus does everything big, just look at the feeding of the 5,000 for example, so his own birthday party would be epic and last for weeks and would have included Sunday Dec 18th and Saturday Dec 24 and the hangover would have lasted a week in itself and would have included Sunday January 1st. I know some of you would say that Jesus doesn't get hangovers, he's the son of God for his sake, but I say in human form Christ is not immune to liquors revenge. So there you have it, Jesus had a hell of a birthday party and that is the reason the Broncos didn't have any help until yesterday. If you have another explanation use the comments to let me know.

To the Steelers Fans in Section 234
.....and to the Steelers fans in front of us at the stadium take your yellow towels and stick them up your collective asses as you made watching the game almost impossible by constantly waving them around, hitting myself and the Consigliere a few times and then keeping me from being able to view the game as you displayed them above your head in my sight line. By the way, Bill said he had a nice large trash bag to place your Steelers pillow in that you left behind at the stadium as you quietly slipped away with your tails between your legs after all the trash talking you did, Raiders fans are more considerate.

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