Chair #65 Arapahoe Basin - Exhibition Lift

What started out as an innocent email by the Consigliere about possibly buying a ski chair has come to it's artful fruition.

Purchased in May of 2010 and picked up that June at the 11,000 foot base of Arapahoe Basin Ski Resort while it snowed, yes it was snowing in June when we picked the chair up, the triple person ski chair from the recently decommissioned Exhibition Lift has become a permanent usable work of art in my backyard.

It did not come easy as I had to be very creative to figure this construction project out. The major problem was to somehow attach the chair to a structure with the ability to swing. After an endless search of the Internet I came across a pipe scaffolding clamp that looked like it would work, they are the blue pieces in the 6th picture. I consulted with the scaffolding company about the usability of such a clamp and they had no idea if it would work and had never heard of it being used in such a manner and quite possibly thought I was nuts. We still don't know if it will work but as soon as the bracing comes down we will give it the old college try and hopefully not end up on our collective asses.

The structure to attach the chair to, the large rusting tubes, came courtesy of my companies excess pipe pile. I found a suitable location overlooking the stinking cesspool pit  hot tub, "The Godfather Forest" and the "Frog Kingdom".

The Godfather and the Consigliere started to dig the holes so we could place the nicely formed rebar column cylinders that I hand bent and built, tip of the hat to the Old Man who worked the iron in his younger days, see picture #1 & #3, and soon discovered that I had mistaken where the patio electrical and hot tub speaker lines were buried thusly causing the holes to be slightly oblong instead of round. The electrical lines were suppose to be in the concrete but due to an issue with the first pour of the patio filling in one of the main conduits with concrete the electrical lines had to be reworked, thank you lesbian electricians, not that there is anything wrong with that. This caused the chair to have to be moved further from the hot tub and hence the covering of my face to keep the inspectors guessing as I had told them the lines where in the concrete per code and shooting of a bird at the offending lines, pictures #18 and #20.

We used 9 - 80# bags of quikcrete to fill the foot and half wide by two foot deep holes and in one of the holes we encountered water, see picture #11, I mean we are at 6,000 ft and the water table is 2 feet below the surface, Come on Man!, well at least when the Apocalypse happens I'll have fresh water.

The wheelbarrow's tire finally gave out after 6 years of service and I replaced it with a solid rubber tire that had the added benefit of being a mag wheel, that's right.....I just pimped my wheelbarrow.

Thank you to the Consigliere(Black Shirt), JF(Red Shirt) and Oreo, the dog(Black Furry Coat). I(Blue Shirt) would also like to thank our very own Wilson the next door neighbor(See Home Improvement for the reference) with his sage advice over the fence, see him as he peeks over the fence in the second mag wheelbarrow picture.

Going Postal

Matt Taibbi from "Rolling Stone" has an editorial on the current Post Office problems. A friend of mine is a postal worker, we share a common interest in high powered automatic weapons(what, I see no problem with that), and he has told me about this problem before and I can empathize with his plight as the Republicans have always sought to disband the unions even if they have to force an organization that was breaking even into bankruptcy. My friend's job is on the possible chopping block. He may be forced to move to a different city or another state to stay with the Post Office as he has a lot of seniority and he would be ill advised to leave the Post Office when he is very close to having the years needed to retire with his full pension. It just shows how far the Republicans are willing to go to achieve their dreams of killing the middle class so there will only be the upper class and everyone else fighting for the scraps. I use the Post Office regularly to send and receive my bills and packages and I would like to see it be allowed to continue to survive. Could there be a less post offices due to the decrease in mail volume? Yes, there could be less, but to force the Post Office to fund their pension to 100% when no one else needs to just to kill the union and bankrupt the Post Office is a travesty.  Thank you Mr. Bush, you putz!

Where the Wild Things Are (as read by Christopher Walken)

One of my favorite books as a kid! I regularly give it as a baby gift.
Walken's narration is good, but his editorial on the pictures is greatness!

Condom Or Android Handset Name?

Quiz your friends with this list:

Originally posted by Tech Crunch

Happy Easter

Don't eat to much chocolate or you may become like this bunny

My dinner tomorrow is already in the crock pot, hasenpfeffer. Just kidding.

Ted is Real

Go see the trailer , not safe for young ears.

Antartic Ice Shelf is Shrinking

The story is here but the one of the comments is what I found funny.

"Oh BULLSHIT....everyone knows, thanks to the rightwingers, that the Seals, Penguins and other species that inhabit that area are using more ice in their mixed drinks. Hence the "depletion" of ice.

Pffft....simple supply and demand."

+=

If you look real hard you can see a penguin with an ice pick at the top of the glacier.

Ain't it cute

I want one of these, or both.

Time to Amend my Will

Before I went in for surgery I did a will to make sure my affairs were in order in case something happened. Now I read that you can put in your will a directive to euthanize things after your death so I will need to amend my will to euthanize the Consigliere upon my passing. His life would not be worth living if I'm not here to constantly berated him.

Consigliere Exterra Ad

On the TV recently I saw an ad for Nissan Trucks and in the ad they were taking parts off an Exterra as it sped through wooded/rocky terrain. They were taking out the navigation system, the air conditioner, the doors,etc,etc getting down to a bare bones chassis and the drive train. At the end of the ad after they had taken all the creature comforts from the truck it said "What do you have once you strip all these features from our trucks?" Without thinking I responded, "The Consigliere's Truck", his Exterra has no extras to speak of and he has to make window motor noises when he rolls down his crank windows. I have to admit that my Cobalt doesn't have any extras either and I have to make the same window motor noises but it does have an aero kit and flames.

Consigliere trying to sell his ride.....

Here is his ad.
NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900


OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I
mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, Maker's Mark to be precise, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Port while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in a pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Just give the Consigliere a call.......

In Memoriam

Someday in my garage....















Already in my basement.....

We lost Ferdinand Porsche today the designer of the 911 and Jim Marshall the creator of Marshall Amplification. Rest in Peace Gentlemen.

Bad Idea???

Do you want O.J. Simpson to be furious with you? Sure you are his daughter, but remember Nicole was his wife at one point and that didn't turn out so good when he was angry with her.

Young Americans, Lazy or Victimized

The youth of America are facing some tough times ahead. This article lays the blame on the Baby Boomers. It's a long read but filled with good information.With the ever increasing cost of college and the job prospects looking weak I can empathize with today's youth.

The problem I have with the youth of today is their motivation. When I went to college I worked 40 hours/week in a construction job to pay for classes and books. I also lived at home with my parents which saved a lot of money and my parents did provide some financial support as well beyond the roof over my head. I graduated with no student loan debt and minimal credit card debt. Now the cost of college has increased since I was in college and I probably would have had some student loan debt if I was in school today, but definitely not $25K to $100K that you hear about these days. My question then is are today's youth doing all they can to pay for college upfront or are they just enjoying college and putting all the costs on credit, i.e. student loans, credit cards, etc?

When I graduated from college in 1993 America was emerging from the recession of 1990-1991 which saw a high of 7.8% unemployment in June of 1992. Now this last recession was a lot worse, but if you graduate with a usable degree like my degree in accounting you can find work. If you majored in ancient Sanskrit or medieval judicial theory than yes you will have problems locating acceptable employment. Is that my problem, no that is your problem..

Have the Baby Boomers poisoned the well of prosperity? That maybe true but maybe that well was about to dry up anyways and the next generations needed to find their own.

To America's youth all I can say is "Life's a big shit sandwich and we all have to take a bite"

That music is crap....no its pee

Urinal in Brazil lets men relieve themselves through music. Love the fret board.

Taco B.M. Monster is the winner

On the Name of the Year website they have completed their NCAA style brackets and chosen Taco B.M. Monster as the name of the year. He beat out Madz Negro in the final four pairing and then Courvoisier Winetavius in the final. Congratulations Taco B.M. Monster.

Back in the day I had a few burrito BM monsters but never a taco BM monster, I think you need some beans to create the perfect BM monster.

The Honest Bachelor

David Spade is greatness!

The Honest Bachelor from David Spade