Saturday, February 10, 2018
Friday, February 9, 2018
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Tuesday, January 30, 2018
Dick of the Day....
.......Paul Gosar (R-Arizona)
http://theweek.com/speedreads/751974/gop-congressman-wants-police-arrest-dreamers-state-union
He wants the Capital Police to arrest DREAMers that have been invited by their Congressperson to the State of the Union.
Wow just wow.
http://theweek.com/speedreads/751974/gop-congressman-wants-police-arrest-dreamers-state-union
He wants the Capital Police to arrest DREAMers that have been invited by their Congressperson to the State of the Union.
Wow just wow.
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Friday, January 19, 2018
Headaches
Thanks to Woodsterman
http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2018/01/headaches_17.html
Joe had suffered from bad headaches for the past 20 years and eventually decided to go and see a doctor about it.
The doctor said: “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.”
Joe was shocked and became depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought: ‘That’s what I need, a new suit.’ He entered the shop and asked the salesman to tailor a new suit.
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let's see ... size 44 long.”
Joe laughed, “That's right, how did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years,” the tailor replied.
Joe tried on the suit and it fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?”
Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.”
The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let's see, 96cm chest and 42cm neck.”
Joe was surprised, “That's right, how did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years,” he replied.
Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?”
Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.”
The salesman said, “Let's see... size 36.”
Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.”
The salesman shook his head, “You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”
http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2018/01/headaches_17.html
Joe had suffered from bad headaches for the past 20 years and eventually decided to go and see a doctor about it.
The doctor said: “Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.”
Joe was shocked and became depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. The surgery cost him $15,000. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realised that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought: ‘That’s what I need, a new suit.’ He entered the shop and asked the salesman to tailor a new suit.
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let's see ... size 44 long.”
Joe laughed, “That's right, how did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years,” the tailor replied.
Joe tried on the suit and it fitted perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?”
Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Sure.”
The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let's see, 96cm chest and 42cm neck.”
Joe was surprised, “That's right, how did you know?”
“Been in the business 60 years,” he replied.
Joe tried the shirt and it fitted perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?”
Joe thought for a moment and said, “Sure.”
The salesman said, “Let's see... size 36.”
Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.”
The salesman shook his head, “You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”
Thursday, January 18, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Monday, January 15, 2018
Car flies into dentist office
Funny Tweets
That dentist office now has a cavity.
They were on drugs, how high were they?
A: About 14 feet
Hey buddy! the drive thru's downstairs
Was he late for an appointment
His in car navigation system was spot on if he was heading to the dentist office
Car technology: Protecting people making stupid decisions daily
Call the dentist, it's time for an extraction
Most people aren't in that much of a hurry to get to the dentist
Well people do go to the dentist when they have a messed up grille
That is going to be a difficult extraction
We have liftoff
Great News! Flying cars are here!
Friday, January 12, 2018
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Raises All Around
Once Trump signs the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act I'm requesting a raise immediately. I'll let you know how that turns out. Who's with me?
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Gears grind to a halt when your very beliefs are proven incorrect.
https://twitter.com/TheLeadCNN/status/940704581742419969
In defending Roy Moore's view that Muslims cannot be elected officials because they cannot swear on a bible.
Watch the video
Read the comments
...he sounds like he hit his head on something very hard
His cornbread ain't done in the middle
Don't give him too much credit, he thinks the only colors are white and wrong
He short circuited......did not compute
He broke his tiny brain
You can actually see when the squirrel stopped in his head
Good grief. If he was any less intelligent, he'd need watering
In defending Roy Moore's view that Muslims cannot be elected officials because they cannot swear on a bible.
Watch the video
Read the comments
...he sounds like he hit his head on something very hard
His cornbread ain't done in the middle
Don't give him too much credit, he thinks the only colors are white and wrong
He short circuited......did not compute
He broke his tiny brain
You can actually see when the squirrel stopped in his head
Good grief. If he was any less intelligent, he'd need watering
Tuesday, December 12, 2017
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