If you touch my Junk........

I'm sure you've all seen or heard about this.

And Now......
Top Ten other things you could say at the airport instead of "I'll have you arrested"

If you touch my junk.....

10. you'll owe me at least dinner.
9. do I get double my airline miles?
8. can I at least keep my over sized shampoo & conditioner?
7. you'll owe me $20 for a feelsy.
6. we'll have to get married.(Valid in Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Vermont, and Washington, D.C.)
5. please tell me if you think it feels infected.
4. please tell the lady behind me that it will be worth her while.
3. should I cough to make it feel like I'm at the doctor's office.
2. do I have to march in the gay pride parade with you next year.

and the number one other thing you could say....

1. can I at least request that a female TSA employee touch my junk instead?

Better yet why not just have a dedicated area of female strippers to search the men and Chippendale's to search the women, lets make flying fun again. Bonus, this idea guarantees no Muslim terrorist would ever fly again.