Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Monday, April 29, 2019
Tom Brady vs Ken 'Snake' Stabler. No Contest!
Tom Brady: Six Super Bowl rings, one scooter, one helmet.— Super 70s Sports (@Super70sSports) April 27, 2019
Ken Stabler: One Super Bowl ring, one speedboat, no helmet, no fucks given.
Advantage: Stabler
*No bonus points for Giselle b/c you know the Snake had a hot babe waiting for him too and I bet she was cooler. pic.twitter.com/Q0eTefWHtA
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Can Nick Bosa Sue The Federal Govt for Lost Corporate Sponsorship Income and Damage to Brand? He Became a Branding - Third Rail in One Tweet.
Congratulations to Nick Bosa on being picked number two in the NFL Draft. You will be a great player for years to come, maybe one of the best. Big Talent! San Francisco will embrace you but most importantly, always stay true to yourself. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 27, 2019
Friday, April 26, 2019
The Story that Keeps Giving: Otto Warmbier gets Darwinized in North Korea and #45 Admits to Paying $2 Million Ransom for his Corpse (you just cant make this stuff up)
Fred Warmbier, Otto’s father, said he had never been told about the hospital bill, but said it sounded like a “ransom” for his late son https://t.co/4RDBHhofI7— The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) April 25, 2019
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Who Has Higher Approval Rating? Just Kidding. Rhetorical Question.....
The best Donald Trump impression that you will ever see.pic.twitter.com/zsMpDxsbRL— James Melville (@JamesMelville) April 19, 2019
Tuesday, April 16, 2019
Glenn Beck Late to Party Again. Notre Dame Arsonist Arrested Was a Redneck White Male and NRA Member
Glenn Beck: If Notre Dame Fire Was 'Started by Islamists,' We Probably Won't Find Out https://t.co/i3pLFzsC2S pic.twitter.com/WPhIA7hnPq— Mediaite (@Mediaite) April 16, 2019
Might I make a suggestion...
....to rebuild Notre-Dame Cathedral out of whatever material the scaffolding is made off. There is some melting but for being in the teeth of the fire that is some strong scaffolding to still be standing.
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
Very Clean Indeed....
https://twitter.com/thehill/status/1116013016619855872
The President said "My Finances Are Very Clean"
Who says that?
Twitter Responses:
The President said "My Finances Are Very Clean"
Who says that?
Twitter Responses:
You could even say they've been "laundered"
Just like clean coal!!!
Things an innocent person says.
Very Clean Tax Returns = You Can't See Them.
Mueller Report Exonerates Me = You Can't see It.
Stable Genius = Can't See College Transcripts.
Brilliant Healthcare Plan = After the Election.
Talks With Putin = No Witnesses.
The Wall is Being Built = You Can't See It.
Tuesday, April 9, 2019
Monday, April 8, 2019
Friday, April 5, 2019
Thursday, April 4, 2019
LOL
Barr, that bloated embodiment of swamp bukkake, is doing his best to reach-around and give Trump’s little nub a rub. Mueller’s team is calling bullshit, with the actual report containing more filth than Sarah Sanders’ navel before her monthly hosing. What a fucking joke.
I Agree With 'Creepy' Don Trump Jr on 'Social Norms'!
I guess this is one of those “social norms” that’s never changing... right Creepy Joe??? https://t.co/usKozRy78w— Donald Trump Jr. (@DonaldJTrumpJr) April 3, 2019
Brockmire is back on
Brockmire: No, the nickname Matt the Bat comes from his locker room presence. He's got the biggest dick in baseball history.
Gabby: Whoa. Seriously?
Brockmire: Oh yeah. Matt loves all that alpha male bullshit. He likes to bump into ya accidentally on purpose to make an impression. Literally. Left a dent. There's a density to it, Gabby. It's like a windsock that's been packed with wet sand.
Tuesday, April 2, 2019
Sumbitch
From Woodsterman
http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2019/03/sumbich.html
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.'
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'
No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'
Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'
http://woodstermangotwood.blogspot.com/2019/03/sumbich.html
A filthy rich Florida man decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only Redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, 'I have a 10 foot man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.'
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash. Everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime store goldfish.. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally the host says, 'Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.'
'No, that's okay. I don't want it,' said Leroy.
The rich man said, 'Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?'
No thanks, I don't want it,' answered Leroy.
The host said, 'Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?'
Again Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, 'Well, Leroy, then what do you want?'
Leroy said, 'I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!'
Monday, April 1, 2019
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