Quotation " " "

“You stood up, raised your glass and said “I would like to thank the Academy” and then you promptly passed out and fell through a glass table. That is why we cut you off.”

Sign seen at Home Depot on the side of a clearance stove. “I Love Kids” Yeah…..that’s a little creepy.

“I've decided to watch some porn instead of the GOP convention. The acting and storylines are more credible and there's less paid whores.”

“Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.”