Godfathers Next Pet Feeding Bowl

My Favorite Internet & Cable Company!

Customer Comment at Arapahoe Basin - RE: Cell Phone Service

Great customer comment at Arapahoe Basin about new cell phone service on the mountain: "What happened? My cell phone rang today! I'm so sad!! Part of the joy of this place was our phones didn't work. It was perfect. Please change back."

Green Smoke....We have Green Smoke

Oooppps....sorry.....
 that was just the Jamaican Cardinal lighting up a fatty.

America's Playground

If all has gone according to plan I'm in America's Playground for the NASCAR Kobalt 400. If not, I'm upside down in an arroyo somewhere in Arizona along I-40.

I'll be at the Nationwide Race on Saturday, watching 2 cover bands Saturday evening at Count Vamps, Pair-o-Dice City (Guns & Roses cover band) & Fan Halen(Van Halen cover band). And then the Sprint Cup on Sunday with a little gambling afterwards. Wish me luck.

ATF Surveillance Van 2

We have changed the Godfather's and Consigliere's home WIFI's name to "ATF Surveillance Van 2" to freak out the neighbors.

In Honor of the Godfather's Road Trip

Lake Wobegon Accounting Department

Well its been a quiet week here at the Lake Wobegon accounting department. It's time for the annual reviews of the folks that account for all the bills and keep the lights on in the office. Seems that everyone is feeling the Lake Wobegon effect as they fill out their review forms.

The forms are quite simple just 12 criteria for judging your accomplishments for the year. From Safety to Integrity to Respect to Courage and Compassion and let's not forget to throw FUN in there too. You grade yourself on a 1-4 scale with 4 being Superior, 3 being Effective, 2 being Developing and 1 being Needs Improvement.

All of the accounting departments employees have sent their reviews in with nothing but 4's across the board for their work during the last year. This is outstanding being that we are in Lake Wobegon,  where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking and all the children are all above average.

Me thinks my minions think a little too highly of themselves. 

Quote , Unquote

"The bank executives have made it clear: We go down, we take the entire US financial system with us. Yes, they have that power. Be afraid. Be very afraid"

“ We’re not happy til you’re not happy”

“Create a reality TV series about them. Someone will watch it.”

“ Everything is better with a cookie”

Topless Iranian communists are the best kind of Iranian communists”

Iranian Nukes

It seems that Tehran is having a rodent problem. They are sending out snipers to kill the little guys who turn out to be not so little ranging in size up to 10 pounds. That's not a rat that a Nutria. I think Iran needs to add a little more shielding to their nuclear sites as some of radioactive materials seem to be getting out.

Happy Sequester Day..

Finally a day to celebrate all that is Sea Quest.....what....what do you mean it not the day to celebrate the great television show Sea Quest.

Damnit....

Well, in that case I hope you got all your friends and family a Sequester Day card or gift. Of course you have to pay cash for the cards or gifts as you cannot use a credit card because that would ruin the whole purpose of Sequester Day now wouldn't it.

The Virgin Mary fired for getting pregnant....

I know the Christian church did not exist at that time, but if the Virgin Mary had been working at the Christian School in this article she would have been fired even though she did not have sex because no one would have believed that it was an immaculate conception. Now I'm not taking this ladies side as she did sign a contract and she should be held accountable for her actions but I just think its funny that if they applied this policy across the board they would have fired the mother of the savior. I do think though that she has a case in that they offered her boy friend / fiance' the job having known full well that he engaged in pre-marital sex because he got her pregnant.

Best comments on the article:

"Maybe she should have agreed she was pregnant but said the church couldn't prove it was due to premarital sex--I mean the Christian Church is based on the entire concept of immaculate conception, so they can't exactly insist it's impossible, now can they?"

"She should have claimed it was an immaculate conception -- no premarital sex. That apparently worked out well for some chick a long time ago... and they totally bought it."

iGlasses - Seroiuos Competition for Google Glass Project!

Godfather's Childhood

Consig's Job?!?!?

New Software Product Icon

The Consig works for a software product company. There was a disagreement with a product icon image and the Consig changed an Active Directory - sales employee image to poke fun at the issue. This was the image recommended for the Consig (from our Sales VP) after my AD change :-) #GeekHumor

Paleo w/Alcohol

I'm reading a book right now on the Paleo diet and while I haven't gotten too far into it yet it is my understanding that the diet is mainly meats, veggies and fruit like the caveman would have eaten. With my gastric bypass stomach that is all that I can ingest for the most part. I can eat some whole grains but my stomach doesn't really like them and regular white flour is completely out of the question due to the nasty effects of on my intestines. And now I come across this little tidbit that the caveman/apes might have had a little fermented fruit in their diet which of course is alcohol. I am able to drink alcohol and it gets me drunk pretty quickly due it dumping right into my bloodstream. I've made jokes that I eat Paleo w/alcohol but maybe I don't have to qualify it anymore as the caveman/apes did their own bit of drinking.

On Gastric Bypass Gas...

Here is an actual text message between the Godfather and the Consigliere this morning.


Consigliere: I have a new sympathy for stranded cruise ship passengers and smells they encountered.

Godfather: I sprayed the bathroom downstairs after my shit this morning.

Consigliere: Well your smell kicks ass on Febreze. You should be proud.


One of the effects of Gastric Bypass surgery is that food goes through the intestines in an undigested state. The resulting gas and bowel movements can peel the paint off walls, cause carbon monoxide alarms to sound and if kittys are too close they can succumb to the odor and fall off the bed in a state of asphyxiation.

Breakfast of Champions and The Godfather

Why the Consigliere should not take work calls at home

Why the Consigliere should not take work calls at home....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7Z3ZA7Pluw
Yesterday morning at the house the Consigliere took a work call and while he was on the call I was screaming at the top of my lungs from the other room "THAT'S A BAD KITTY" over and over. I'm sure his office is now wondering about their selection of him as an employee, it also freaked out the cat pretty bad as he thought I was screaming at him. He was scurrying all over the room looking for cover. Of course being the asshole that he is, the cat I mean, not the Consigliere, of course the Consigliere does has his moments, but I digress, Tigger deserved it, maybe it'll teach him to not attack my feet when I get out of bed.

Update: seems the Consigliere had the phone on mute the whole time as he was just listening to the conversation during my "THAT'S A BAD KITTY" tirade and only had to speak after I was through. I have no regrets though, kitty still deserved it.