With text like these I'm coming back....
"this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bead with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear, im guessing i had a very happy birthday"
Go see others at Texts from Last Night
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